Mercy Chilapula

She was the first woman to become a moderator in the Blantyre CCAP Synod.  Mercy Chilapula, in this interview with PAIDA MPASO, talks about her background, the moments she cherishes while growing up and the ills of culture that are putting the Christian woman at risk.

Tell me about yourself.

I was born on May 13 1964, and I am the church moderator for Mount Pleasant. I am married and have two boys who are both in secondary school. My husband is an engineer and he has been very supportive of my career.

How many were you in your family?

We were 12 children and now we are six. Basically, our life was full of excitement. It is now that I appreciate the role my mother played in our lives. My brothers were told to cook and pound maize. I am doing the same to my sons. I want them to know that the kitchen is not only for the girls.

Where did you do your education?

I did my education in Machinga, at Chimkwezule Primary School and was selected to Blantyre Secondary School.  I finished my school in 1986. In 1989, I attended theological college up to 1992. Because women were not ordained, I went to teach at Chigodi Womens’ Centre. It was from there that I came up with the women’s desk.  In 1995, I was the director of women. After about five years, I went to South Africa to further my theological studies. I came back in 2003 and went to Chinamwali CCAP in Zomba and was ordained. I was there for four years. While at Chinamwali I was chosen as vice moderator. In 2011, I became a moderator.

What do you remember most about your childhood?

My father was not just a teacher; he was also a session clerk. Together with my mother they would sing hymns at night. It was fun. We got so used to them singing to the point that we reminded them to sing whenever the house was quiet.

What kind of a father was he?

My father was a no-nonsense-type of man. My last born sister was impregnated and my father dragged her to church for disciplinary hearing, despite him being the leader of that church. In addition, my brother got a call from the army and he needed my father as the session clerk to write a letter of transfer and in that letter my father specifically said his son did not like to contribute money to the church. When my brother read this, he was heartbroken. Without mincing words my father told him that he was doing that for the church.

Who inspired you to become a reverend?

Right from secondary school I have been the chairperson of religion associations and served in the choirs. I just loved to lead. I remember while at Blantyre Secondary School I was a prefect and we would have an assembly at the chapel. The prefects were supposed to rotate in reading the Bible but most of them would shun this. They would ask me to fill in for them. I loved doing it.

Do you feel that your ascendancy to the highest level in the Blantyre Synod made a difference to women?

I believe it did. Not only that, my ascending to this position has opened doors for women to  not only be ordained but also go as far as serving in the executive.   To me this means the work that I did was loved by many and that is why another woman Edna Navaya is vice moderator. In addition, among the 15 women that we are actively serving in the synod, we bring variety because we are different. I know of some women who are can apply lipstick and wear a weave, long weaves for that matter and they look just as good. The fact that one is a reverend does not mean they should lose their sense of fashion. It’s good to look good and respectable. I believe many girls will re-think their career and come to realise that stewardship is not bad at all.

How did you help empower fellow women in the church?

During my reign, I worked with my fellow women theologians through the women desk. The aim was to share the Word of God as women. Basically, what I did was to make my fellow women embrace and perform to their abilities given that we are mothers and wives at home. On the other hand, note that I was a moderator for the whole synod and not just women and so I needed to juggle my roles perfectly and in a fairly.

During the time you were serving as moderator, you were responsible for 600 congregations and over 1000 prayer houses, what was your experience?

It was overwhelming and I have learnt so much as a church leader, mother and wife. I have learnt where to draw the line and it was a good experience. I will live to cherish that for as long as I live.

What are some of the challenges that you met?

Well I had the usual: People looking down on me thinking I won’t deliver. But at the end of the day, the people I was working with needed to understand that I was in charge and that they needed to respect the woman sitting on that chair.

How did you overcome them?

No need to prove myself to anybody, I was there to work in unison with God. God lifted me up and I am happy to have served my two terms.

On bridal showers, do you think the counseling we give to the bride-to-be is enough for her to establish a home?

I used to be fan of bridal showers but I stopped when I got ordained. Whenever I am invited, I excuse myself because I know that given the chance to speak, I will disrupt the whole gathering.  Most people who give counseling at these gathering are not married. How do you expect these people to help this bride-to-be? In addition, where a man shows up at the shower for a second and then leaves is not on. People need to begin to help the young boy at home realise that he too can work in the kitchen.

Where is the best place to begin counseling a woman?

The best place to counsel a Christian woman is throughout her life. Learning never stops. We counsel girls at different ages, but I believe we need to also counsel those who are courting and also those who are about to get married. In this way we are setting the communication base between the couple-to-be and that there will be no nasty surprises.

What do you mean?

I believe family is important and should take a leading role in helping the children understand certain issues about marriage. We want the family to sit and talk to their children about marriage and sex. We want them to empower the woman so that she is able to talk to her husband in a polite way.

Recent research shows that most women contract HIV while in marriage. How have you helped women in this regard?

As a church, we try to hold marriage clinics and invite couples. But the problem is men usually shun these gatherings. Even if the woman goes home and tries to implement what she has learnt, is the man going to listen? Couples need to be encouraged to go for VCT while they are courting. Families need to step in early while the children are young. For instance, there should be no difference between the girl and the boy. They both need to be taught chores so that when boys become men they should be able to complement their wives. However, I was surprised to note that there are some girls who do not do house chores. There are people employed to wash the girls’ clothes and cook for them. She might get married, but we as a family have not done her any good and we expect a bridal shower to fill in the gaps. Honestly, this must not be encouraged.

Issues of gender equality have not been embraced well by some people, what do you say?

Pastor Reverend Misanjo Kansilanga gave us a good definition of what this means and through this he helped many families. When you are in a theological college, you find that the mother is doing her school, the father is working and the children are in school. If the father gets home and waits for the wife to cook, when will the mother find time to do her school? However, I am not saying we should be rude to men. We should rather politely point this out.