At times, it is not easy for fathers to bond with their children. Fathers are sometimes feared by their children because it is believed that fathers are the heads of the family and need to be given a certain type of reverence. However, there are other men who are breaking the odds. Mwereti Kanjo talked to one of them and this is what he had to say.
He is head of asset management at CDH Asset Management Limited. His job involves managing assets for the third party. Because of this, his load is always full and meetings characterize his day in the office.
Just to get an interview with him was a hustle. First he had to travel to Lilongwe at night to make it for an early meeting which was followed by another appointment and then another.
But, even though he is this busy, he has made it a point to always be there for his children and his name it Thoko Nkavea.
The 35 year old is happily married to Alinafe Makhalira Nkavea and together they have two children aged four and two. Apart from paying the bills and ensuring a comfortable life, Nkavea has been there for his children in a way that very few Malawian men have.
He has changed their diapers, fed them in the night and allowed his wife some rest, bathed them, dressed them, washed their clothes, he has basically done it all. Nkavea is not bewitched, like most people think when a man is too caring. he is just a loving father.
“I love my children. Basically I just want to make sure that they are happy. I want to be the one that gives them the happiness that they deserve and if possible I want to be there for all the special moments in their lives. They will be kids only once,” said Nkavea.
During his free time, Nkavea loves to take his children to eat out. According to him there is nothing that pleases them more than accompanying their father on his errands. He takes them along sometimes to where he is going just to maximise spending time with them.
“I dedicate all my free time to my children. Of course their mother is jealous sometimes.â€™ he says.
” I would want to build trust between them and me. I want them to know that they can always come to me. ” he adds.
“The best time of the day for me is when they come running to me as I come home from work. When they see me hug their mother first they get jealous. I am blessed,” said Nkavea.
Still Nkavea refuses the best father accolade but gives it to his father.
“I donâ€™t think I am a model father. My father is. He is a selfless man who has been there for us his children at our worst and best moments in life. A father who loves unconditionally, who instilled the best values in us and never gave up on us. He is always there when we need guidance. That is a model father and my father is one,” he said.