After being gay: Monjeza cries out!

The face has a striking resemblance to the once bright-eyed, slightly-bald and soft-spoken gentleman who used to grace newspaper front pages and television screens during court appearances. But his bloodshot eyes, unkempt hair (despite the receding hairline) and shabbiness normally attributed to vagrants makes one recoil and reconsider if he is really the one.

In fact, it is him—Steven Monjeza of the gay marriage fame. He made news in 2009 when he and his lover Tiwonge Chimbalanga, popularly known as Aunt Tiwo, held a public traditional engagement as a gay couple.

But, one thing is clear from the onset; Monjeza, who holds the record for being Malawi’s first openly gay husband, has taken a knock and tumbled downslide.

“Nothing is working out. I am struggling,” the 31-year-old says, and then adds an afterthought; “A lot.”

He explains that life for him now is “very difficult”.

Says Monjeza: “I no longer have a normal family life after my father disowned me, saying I brought shame to the family name by getting engaged to a fellow man. Since then, we are not on talking terms.

“Seeing that my family life had suffered, I got married but my wife left me after three months.”

Asked whether the wife’s departure had to do with conjugal issues since he has a gay background, Monjeza says without qualms: “She left be because my money ran out and we were struggling to make ends meet.”

As if that is not enough, Monjeza says even ordinary members of the society ridicule him when he tries to socialise or when he is simply going about his business.

“They say ndinapoila [I was crazy] by getting myself engaged to a fellow man. I agree, of course, because it has brought me more harm than good. Were it not for that, I could have been doing better in my life. “

Monjeza, who currently lives in Blantyre’s Manyowe Township, says he struggles to raise money to pay for his rent since he have no proper means of livelihood.

“I just wake up and look forward to whatever the day will bring. Most of my days are gloomy as I struggle to find even food. As for clothing, it is a big challenge and these [the clothes he was wearing during the interview] are hand–me-downs,” he says.

In his quest to secure a means of livelihood, Monjeza says he walks to and from Blantyre every day.

“My attempts to find employment end the moment people recognise me. Their attitude changes and that is the end of it. Even bosses who used to hail us [him and Aunt Tiwo) back then no longer care. Only one person assisted me sometime back with some money but the rest have vanished into thin air.”

As if that were not enough, Monjeza’s former fiancé, Aunt Tiwo, left for South Africa years ago and the two have not been in touch since, according to Monjeza.

“I do not even try to contact him because I do not want anything to do with my past, which has only caused me grief. Given a chance, I could have done things differently. I hope others learn from my predicament,” says the native of Kameza Village, Traditional Authority (T/A) Machinjiri, in Blantyre.

His only hope now is entrepreneurship

“Since people are reluctant to employ me, the only way out is to be self-employed. I am a capable tinsmith, but I need capital to set up my trade. I am fed up trying to secure employment so I think it is wise to venture into business,” says the Form Two dropout.

To prove that he has buried his past, Monjeza adds that morally he has taken a new direction.

“I am now a changed person. I no longer drink alcohol and I quit smoking chamba some time ago. I am now a faithful of the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God,” he reveals.

About his future, Monjeza says he hopes to find a loving wife, settle down and raise a family.

Apparently, the family will be run on moral grounds since he says he feels he has suffered enough for what he did. n