Be my valentine, Patuma
I felt free and easy for the past three weeks as I took a breather without the hussle and bustle of meeting deadlines and I was just at peace with myself.
It was a good feeling waking up in the morning, basking in the sun while stealing glances at my neighbour’s maid Patuma’s attractive figure—swaying her hips as she cleaned windows in a manner that could have even made Shakira proud. It also felt good seeing one of Africa’s finest footballing exports to Europe Samuel Eto’o compounding Manchester United’s manager David Moyes’s misery with a stunning hat-trick for the Blues that thrilled my world.
As I took a breather, it was relieving to learn that FAM had reduced punishments for Silver Strikers and Mighty Wanderers for the ugly scenes that occurred in Balaka. All along, I had been made to believe that the only creatures that are gifted in the art of jumping from tree to tree with utter luxury are baboons, but Wanderers players proved me wrong two weeks ago as they leapt from one mango tree to the other in a desparate search of the tasty fruits. Well, I later on realised that it was off-season period when players find the going very tough.
I further gathered that the Nomads players had gone for two months without getting their monthly upkeep and I was left wondering what could have become of them had Sulom’s decision to ban them for months, been upheld. The only other way out would have been getting some piecework as minibus touts [ojiya] or indeed kuheda matumba, but I doubt if they could have stood up to such exhausting tasks considering their fitness levels. Perhaps this will give all stakeholders, in particular rowdy fans, plenty of food for thought that it is the players that suffer the consequences in the end.
By the way during the holiday, I also enjoyed reading the jokes that circulate on social media and the one that stood out was an exchange of words between spouses which went like this: Hubby: “Your cooking is so pathetic despite watching frequent cookery programmes on TV”; Wife: “And you watch movies every day, but you do not improve and yet I have never made a fuss about it!” Lo!
AOB: Friday is Valentine’s Day and all things being equal, I would have travelled to Mulanje for a good time with ‘Akweni’ along Thuchila River, kuti tikanyulane kunsana, but I guess she’s busy campaigning to retain her parliamentary seat and I guess I will have to do with my neighbour’s maid Patuma…Asa ndi dilu! Hope Sunbird’s PRO Akossa Mphepo will reserve my booking for the valentine treat at Mount Soche tomorrow. Glory be to God!Uloliwe.. Uloliwe wayidudula hi..Nang’esiza! [The train is pushing!]
