Bringing romance back into a marriage

Like anything, to keep love alive in a marriage takes work and effort. Thinking that things will happen automatically, is taking a risk. Mwereti Kanjo spoke to a few women and here are their suggestions on how you can bring romance back into your marriage

The first few years of a marriage are exciting, the honey moon stage where all you want to do is be with your spouse, let them know how much you love them and make sure that they are just as happy as you are.

But as time goes, often the marriage will turn into a routine. The reasons for the turnaround are numerous. Children join the family and they too need special attention, work, bills and all the pressures of life just seem to come together at one time. This causes stress, anxiety and we forget what is most important, we forget how to love.

This maybe the norm about life and marriage but we can be the exception and turn things around, bring back that romance to light up that never ending fire.

“Make an effort to re-establish the relationship that was there in the beginning. This takes a lot of sacrifice. Women always think that since they have children they cannot do much to please the husband. Forget your present status, transform your mental thinking and know that you are pretty.

“Laugh, sit down and chat with your husband, speak words of love not only words of love but actions too. In the morning help him button his shirt and at night help him unbutton his shirt, bring him a snack and so on and so on. It is the small services to a husband that remind him why he married you in the first place. Love starts to resurface and before you know it you are back where you started,” said Pastor Constance Masamba, a marriage counsellor.

Joyce Nhlema, a Blantyre based woman, says bringing back romance in a marriage does not have to be something expensive. Simple actions like calling and texting him during the day just to tell him that you are thinking about him can go a long way.

“The thing about marriage is that you see each other in the morning before you leave for work and in the evening when you knock off, even then you have to attend to children. But if you keep in touch during the day, write silly things, you look forward to seeing each other in the evening,” said Nhlema.

Ethel Masi thinks that despite everything else that we are told, what is needed most in a marriage is respect because with respect there is peace. Listen to what your husband is saying and reach a compromise when there is need.

“Do not take over his role. You find that people are praying at different churches by simply submitting to him you are saying that he is the most important person to you. That is romance in its own right,” said Masi.

Romance is one thing that keeps a marriage alive. It is something that two people share and keeps that spark in their love life. So every morning wake up and choose to be the most romantic person you can be, choose to love your spouse.