Change style of dressing when married?
A good number of men would wish the women they married, remained youthful and attractive, at least when it comes to retaining their flair for fashion.
Men will say, ‘I like her when she is dressed to ‘kill’, and that is what attracted me to her in the first place’; but what happens if the woman starts wearing those loose fitting clothes and tying some old school wrappers after marriage?
Will the men feel comfortable watching their once upon a time queen in the shadow of her old-self? Were her outfits not one of the things that attracted this man to her in the first place?
Sociologist Charles Chilimampunga thinks if one was happy with the way she dressed before she got married, there is no reason to change as long as the dressing is respectable.
He argues that clothing goes with one’s personality.
Twenty-nine-year-old Jane Chadiwa said women are generally supposed to dress respectfully. She advises that one’s dressing needs not be the talk of the town.
She observes that some women— married or single—sometimes dress in ways that are more revealing, and she condemns that.
Chimwankhunda-based Gray Kayera says a woman should not change the way she dresses just because she got married, but should at least exercise a certain level of judgment when it comes to what is appropriate or not.
Aubrey Mwasinga, the founding pastor of Redeemed for a Purpose (RFP) Ministries points out, however, that regardless of whether they are married or not, women must dress in ‘appropriate clothes that are modest and respectable’ for that is the guidance given in the Bible.
He says over the years, people, including believers, have differed on what is modest and respectable as there is no universal definition.
“There is no universally acceptable definition of ‘short or tight clothing’ as the definition will subjectively depend on the individual’s background, international exposure, parental orientation, religion and tribe.
“For instance, you might agree with me that in most urban families, parents dress their children in a certain way and usually such dressing constitute what someone from a different background may look at as too revealing. For such children, that is the kind of dressing they will know even when they grow up,” he says.
Mwasinga observes that someone raised in the village on the other hand, will have reservations on short, and other types of clothing that women in urban areas find normal to wear.
“So, I believe that if the woman feels deep down her heart—after taking into consideration the needs of society or the occasion—then that is alright,” he says.
But Mwasinga says following ones’ heart does not mean others will agree with the decision.
He emphasises that it might not always be right for one to change the type of dressing when she gets married, especially if that type of dressing is what the husband admired in the first place and attracted him to her. n
