Children in the marital bedroom?

The idea of having children get into their parents’ bedrooms is a heavily debated subject in many places. Usually, the mother in her nature to nurture the children agrees to allow her babies into the bedroom. On the other hand, the man would oppose to that, as it would make him feel uncomfortable. What do most people feel about this? EveryWoman took the question to some people on social networking site Facebook and this is what we got:

 Small kids obviously yes, but in some cultures, teenagers and above are not allowed to enter their parents’ bedroom. —Agnes Dumisani Mizere

Yes. They should be allowed.—Bwana Peter Uko

There should be an age limit! —Chipiliro Kansilanga

I see no problem as long as the timing is right.—Make Lo

It depends with their parents. They must knock before enter into the bedroom, but with these children of nowadays, uh it’s better not to let them in. Angakuyalutse! —Alice Ngoma

I think there is nothing wrong with children entering their parents’ bedroom so long you teach them from an early age to always knock on the door and always wait for the parents’ response! And mostly they should come to your room when papa is not there. Selby Chisanga

If you forbid your children from entering your bedroom, you breed secrecy among the family members which is not good. Just like any bedroom in the house, anyone who wants to enter a bedroom that’s not theirs should knock and wait for a response. I know of a case where a woman died in her bedroom only to be found three days later because the children were not allowed to enter the bedroom. If a child catches you in the act, teach him that it’s something only married people do or that’s the special way that dad shows mum that he loves her.—Tsitsi Florence

Psychologists say that most of the times it’s women who do not want to let go of their babies and would encourage them to come and cuddle up to mummy, for bonding. However, most men find this to be very uncomfortable as they fear they might hurt the kids or that their privacy is no longer there.

In an interview, Word Alive Pastor Towera Masiku, said that everything depends on the nature of the relationship parents have with their children.

“My children know they are welcome, but they have to knock and wait for approval. If you teach a child well, he knows when to come into the bedroom and not,” she said.

She also explained that depending on one’s culture, it might be difficult for some parents to let children into their bedroom and the prerogative is with the mother.