Chitukuko cha foni
Ndati ndikuuzeni abale anzanga, mbale wina amene anatchona ku Jubeki ndipo anasungidwa ku Lindela kwa nthawi wafika pa Wenela. Chanzeru chimene wandibweretsera ndi foni yochonga.
Tsonotu lero nkhani si ya mtchona wamkulu Adona Hilida. Inde apa sindikambatu za kutha mphamvu kwa Kwacha chifukwa ngakhale Moya Pete alibe yankho lenileni! Sindinganene wamasiye wamkulu Shati Choyamba amene adathawa mkazi wake lero akutizunza ndi uthenga wakuti ndi wa masiye! Ndipo tili pankhani wa mkuluyu, ndidaona nyumba ina yozinga bwino msewu wa Fatima, tsono ndikudabwa kuti akukakamira m’tauni bwanji?
Sindinganene za Mpando Wamkulu chifukwa pano msana uja udapola ndipo wasiya zopita ndi mtsamiro kukhoti kukayankha zosolola ndi zina ndi zina. Abale, ndinganene chiyani za Lazalo Chatsika wa Male Chauvinist Pigs yemwe tsopano naye wayamba kuonetsa mawanga a gogo uja adandipeza nditavula polima kwathu kwa Kanduku ku Mwanza? Ngati simunamve, mfunseni Thursday Jumbo!
Koma inu!
Lero nkhani si ya Polisi Palibe, gulu limene likutha ngati makatani a China. Makatani ndi onse, koma pajatu belo siyinama! Nanga taonani Adona Hilida kutuma uja Ibula kuti achotse uyu wa chitaganya kenako Adona Hilidawo nkudzanena kuti ayi mkulu wa chitaganyayo asachotsedwe.
Inde, sitikamba za Pitapo yemwe tsopano akusimba lokoma apoooo!
Chifukwa sabata imeneyi ndakhala ndi kuunguza nawo pa Facebook ndati ndiyalule zina ndi zina zimene ndakhala ndikuona. Nkhani yaikulu ndi ya kuzimazima kwa magetsi! Abale inu, we are living in the dark ages ndipo bungwe loonetsetsa kuti mdima ukufikira aliyense pano pa Wenela likadakhala chakudya bwenzi ali manyumwa. Musandifunse kuti chipatso chimenechi nchiti chifukwa sindkuuzani. Kuzolowera zipwete eti?
Tsono mmodzi mwa anthu amene anaponya nkhani yake pa buku la nkhope (kaya ndi nkhope ya buku, sindidziwa) adatambasula zomwe anakumana nazo chifukwa cha kuzima kwa magetsi.
“Mkazi wanga anandipeza ndi kucheza ndi mkazi woyendayenda. Anapita kunyumba kumene adakhutulira mafuta mpoto, nkuika pa cooker. Mkaziyo adayatsa cooker nkukagwira ntchito zina. Ntafika sanafunse kalikonse koma adaphula mafuta aja nkundikapiza. Samadziwa kuti nthawi amaika mafutawo pamoto, magetsi anazima ndipo mafuta sanawire. Zikomo Eeeeeeeishkom!”
Abale anzanga, ndikhulupirira madotolo a chipatala cha odwala misala aziyang’ana kaye zimene odwala awo akhala akulemba pomwe amayenda pamsewu ngati abwinobwino.
Ndipo nditaunguza Gervazzio, wa pamalo aja timakonda pa Wenela, ndidapeza kuti ali m’gulu lina lotchedwa Kupeza Mabanja ndi Zibwenzi Pa Wenela! Chodabwitsa nchakuti iyeyo ali pabanja! Kodi Facebook yaphweketsa chiwerewere chomwechi?
Ndikumadabwanso kuti nkatsegula tsambali, akumandifunsa kuti What is on Your Mind! Akadziwa ndiye amafuna nditani? Nkhawa zanga si zotulira anthu osadziwa?
Ndiye pali ena akuponya zithunzi zolaula pa Facebook. Akakhalakhala, umva akunena kuti wina wawalowera kutsamba lawo! Mukunamiza ndani? Ngakhale zandipeza mochedwa Abiti Patuma adandiuza kale kuti amene zithunzi zotere zikuoneka patsamba pawo ndiye kuti adatsegula zithunzi zotere patsamba la ena! Usawi, chichi?
Kukamba za Abiti Patuma, sabata iyo adanditengera ku ukwati wina umene udali pamalo ena oyandikira pa Wenela. Kudali mwana wa munthu ku ukwati umenewo.
Itafika nthawi yofupa akuchimuna, ndinadabwa aliyense ali pa foni yake. Nanenso ndidalowa nawo m’gulumo, nkumaseweretsa foni yanga. Nkatere, kutola zithunzi za anthu ali kakaka ndi mafoni awo, popanda wofupa.
Nkatero, ndaponya kale pa Facebook. Kungoponya kenako nkupanga like. Nthawi yomweyo nkudzaponya comment: Life is good#embarassed with lasanje!
Akuchimunawo adapitiriza kuseweretsa mafoni awo, popanda wofupa olo mmodzi.
Titabwerera kukakhala pansi ndidafunsa Abiti Patuma kuti akuchimuna kuumira kwanji kotere? Kungopita m’bwalo kukavina mmalo mofupa! Anthu a nkhanza, satana ali bwino, ndidatero.
Abiti Patuma adaseka ngati wakwatiwa kumene.
“Kikikiki! Tade mudzatsala. Anthuwatu akufupa kupyolera pa Mpamba, Airtel Money komanso achina Mo626 ndi njira zina zosamutsira ndalama pafoni,” adanditsegula m’maso Abiti Patuma.
Gwira bango, upita ndi madzi iwe!
