Chris faults BMW’s advice to JV

Dear Biggie,

I have been following—or rather reading—your column since it started on March 22 this year, when you said it will be a forum for the broken-hearted and the disappointed who will seek advice and a shoulder to cry on.

True to your words, different readers have brought their sorrows to you and you have soothed their broken hearts and I salute you for your good works.

However, with due respect, as you recently reprimanded JV for her brief writing, I think you ill-advised another lady who complained about her relationship with her boyfriend of seven years.

The column was under the headline My man is Hurricane Katrina (Nation on Sunday June 7). You advised the said lady to hurt her boyfriend where it pains most—his ego—which means (in your own words) making out with somebody beneath his dignity such as a houseboy or one of his friends—even a watchman.

It is here, BMW, that I fail to understand you clearly. My first question is: Do we correct a wrong by doing another wrong? If she does what you advised her to do, it means she is competing with her boyfriend, is that fair?

The example you gave about your neighbour of Kasungu, that neighbour I assume was legally married while the said lady is not. So what will prevent the Katrina to dump the lady if he discovers she is cheating also?

I don’t support the man, in saying so. If you had advised her to pray for her man so that he can change that would have been understandable. But trying to compete is very dangerous.

I hope you have heard the Chichewa proverb which says ‘Atambwali Sametana’.

Read the article of Anatchereza of August 16 2015, with due respect to you. I trust I have not offended you with my observation as there is freedom of expression nowadays. But I doubt if you will publish my letter.

Your avid reader,

Chris, by post

Dear Chris,

I have surprised you, haven’t I, by publishing this letter. No offence has been given and none has been taken. I have seen it all for the term offence to have no effect on me. Yours is a well-meaning letter that meant no harm.

Come to think of it, can you imagine I had even forgotten when I started publishing (thanks for reminding me).

You raise pertinent issues in your letter, and I am not ashamed to say that I agree with you on a majority of the concerns you have raised.

As writers, we have an obligation to uphold the oath of truth and sincerity.

And this is as much as we can agree.

Because I believe that I try, as sincere as I can, to give my readers advice that is both practical and functional.

Like I have said times with number, BMW is no hopeless romantic. I am a very practical man owing to the vast heartbreaks that I have suffered and I have effected to some rather unfortunate better-halves.

As such, I will never sugar-coat my advice in an effort to cushion the pain, however painful it might be to bear.

I do not think giving people advice that is sweetened so as not to offend helps anyone’s cause, least of all the victim.

I tell it as I see it. And most of the time what I see is neither pretty nor beautiful.

Pessimist? No man, just a practical man trying to do some good after years of playing truant. Call this my community service to the country.

Besides, my good friend Chris, advice is free. This means the one being advised is at liberty to take and use it as they deem fit. (The only problem being that BMW’s advice comes with a warning: Use advice at owner’s risk!)

That said, I believe I am doing something right, because, in all honesty, if I wasn’t making sense, you’d have long stopped reading this column.

Be good and remain blessed.

Big Man Wamkulu.

Moral of the story: Is that there is no moral to this story.