Controlling peer pressure

From time to time, everyone is subjected to peer pressure. Whether young, adult or old, everyone has to deal with peer pressure time and again. We usually talk of peer pressure in relation to teenagers but neglect of this important phenomenon during other phases or stages of life can be quite detrimental. We encounter peer pressure throughout our lives from very early on when we are very young all through to old age. For us to be truly and sustainably successful, we need to master the art of controlling peer pressure.

Peer pressure is the influence we get from people around us to do things they want us to do. Most people associate peer pressure with bad influences. But, peer pressure can sometimes influence people to do good things. If you are a teenager and your peers pressure you to join a mathematics revision group or choir group, that should generally be good peer pressure. If you are an adult and your colleagues pressure you to start building your house early into your career, that is good peer pressure. Usually, good peer pressure will come with a narration of the genuine benefits of doing what you are being asked to do.

But, we know that typically, peer pressure comes from the negative angle—teenagers recruiting new smokers and beer drinkers, teenagers influencing their peers to go out of school boundaries without permission or to find boyfriends and girlfriends and to go into premarital sex. Unfortunately, when peers are pressuring you negatively, they do not tell the full story. They hide the important parts of what they influence you to do. They don’t tell you the consequences of the actions that they push you to take. When you now face the consequences, those who pressured you run away, leaving you alone suffering. That is who bad peer pressure works.

Now, the question is: what can we do to protect ourselves from negative peer pressure? The important thing is to be in control of peer pressure. We need to be aware that ultimately, we must personally take the final decision and choose which way we want our life to go. If we gain control and if we are aware of how much personal power we have over peers regarding our choices, our destiny and our future, then we cannot be misled by negative peer pressure.

The good thing is that usually, it is not difficult to know the difference between what is good and what is bad. For students in school, it is not difficult to know whether smoking or drinking is good or bad for a student. Equally, it is not difficult to know what is bad between disobeying and following school rules. For adults, it could be a peer at work who says that you can forget about the family at home and behave the way you like with older men to gain favours. It could be a colleague pressuring us into corruption. Again, it is not difficult for us to judge which path is right or wrong.

But to be practical, what can be difficult is to decide to follow the right path, even if we know it. What helps in doing this is to go the next step. Look at the benefits and consequences attached to both options. You will find that typically, doing good has long term benefits, not just immediate gratifications that evaporate within a very short time. On the other hand, the bad choices have long lasting consequences, despite the fact that usually, they have short term attractions. Successful people focus on long term view. What does your long term analysis tell you about the two options?

Everyone gets subjected to peer pressure from time to time. We need to prepare ourselves for the times that we are subjected to peer pressure. Once we gain control over peer pressure, we will be protected against major consequences and we will instead harvest lasting benefits of our good choices and decisions in life.