Declare grey-haired people endangered species

(Members of the Association of Grey-Haired People and the Baldhead wants the People’s Court to declare all old people who have grey hair or are bald endangered species)

Court Clerk: Silence! This is not a village head’s court. This is the People’s Tribunal where maintaining silence when the judge is speaking is cardinal. You don’t want to be thrown out of the court before you are even heard. As the court is already in session observe court decorum.

Judge Mbadwa: The Association of Grey-Haired People and the Baldhead has petitioned this court that they want their members and others with similar attributes declared endangered species. Could Mr Danzi Laimvi, who signed the petition as the chairperson of the group, tell this court why it should declare them endangered species as if they were some rhinos?

Danzi Laimvi: My Lord, the events that happened at Chimbalanga Village in Traditional Authority Dambe’s area in Neno have shaken this association to its core and have demonstrated how vulnerable we are.  The brutal murder of Eliza Kanjete, Elanafa Kanjete, Byson Kanjete and Idesi Kanjete, who were all well above 69, has made us realise that grey hair is no longer regarded as a crown of glory by some section of society.

May the soul of the 17-year-old who was killed by lightning rest in peace, but my Lord, why is it that it is always those with grey hair or wrinkled faces that are suspected of having powers to bewitch people?  When the rains are not falling, it is the elderly in the village, especially the ones who act abnormally who are said to be responsible. Old people are being butchered, maimed or being forced to drink poisonous substances for having attributes of a witch which are grey hair, baldhead and wrinkled faces.

Of course, we are not ruling out that witches and wizards exist, they do.  But that does not mean every time you are getting old you have an affinity for engaging in occults and witchcraft no.

My Lord, we the old people, can no longer live safely in society because we are all potential witches and wizards. I have noted that you have started losing some hair on your head my Lord and you should be very afraid that in few years to come, you will join our league.

In short my Lord, we asking this court to declare us old people endangered species so that we can enjoy government protection from cruel people.

Mbadwa: This court is convinced that grey-haired people and those spotting baldheads are endangered species that need government protection at all cost. This court wants to categorically state that it recognise that witchcraft exists but that is not the excuse that people should take the law into their own hands.

The richness of the society dwells in its people a s such young people should not abuse their strength, which is the glory of their youth, to get rid of the beauty of old men, which is grey hair because doing so would be killing their generation.

We will grow old at sometime; hence, by extension we are all endangered species. The court, therefore, declares that from today government should appoint a special commission to look into the security of the elderly and educate most illiterates who want to get rid of the old, our endangered species. n