Bitterness is a frozen form of latent anger and resentment. Bitterness grows out of our refusal, to let go when someone or something is taken from us. Bitterness is being constantly hurt by a memory and is holding onto a hurt until it has a hold on you. Our guest inspiration writer Stella Fowewe writes:-
Bitterness makes us foolish, it provokes people to do and say stupid things. It hurts our feelings. Bitterness is an emotional suicide. It is drinking poison while hoping the other person will die. It is a very slow form of destroying one’s peace of mind. It prolongs the hurt and it makes us miserable. Bitterness makes everyday life of its victim miserable.
Normally bitter people have an amazing memory for the tiniest detail, and they wallow in self-pity and resentment. They record every offense in their mind and are always ready to show others how much they have been hurt. Bitter people defend their grudges constantly: they feel that they have been hurt too deeply and too often, and that this exempts them from the need to forgive. Their hearts are sometimes so full of resentment that they no longer have the capacity to love.
Bitterness is one of the most destructive and dangerous of all human emotions and if not dealt with, will eventually destroy its victim. It spreads easily like cancer, we become bitter towards other things and it can spread to those around us. It also comes out in different ways – the outworking of bitterness often includes jealously, anger, division, dissatisfaction, hate etc. It makes us focus on what we haven’t got, rather than what we have got. Bitterness is a trap that the devil puts out and is all too easy to fall down. It will always hurt us more than it will hurt the other person.
Bitterness is a root. Roots do not directly manifest or make itself known, but is a source of nutrition or fuel for other elements that are on the surface. You don’t usually see a plant showing off its root system, but if the plant didn’t have a root system it wouldn’t survive.
People who have a root of bitterness find it easy to get upset over things that others are doing around them. It’s like a brewing fountain that lies beneath the surface, waiting to fuel something that is on the surface.
What are the likely effects of bitterness?
- · It can rob you of your peace and joy.
- · It can lead to the lost of good and faithful friends.
- · There can be no true love where bitterness exists.
- · It empowers regrets; a bitter person always lives perpetually in regrets.
- · It breaks your inner man.
- · It will defeat you and ruin your life and the lives of those around you; your family, your spouse and can even lead to the breakup of your home.
How then can I deal with bitterness?
1. Learn to forgive. Forgiveness is one of the greatness therapies for bitterness, choosing to let go is a choice to be free from the trap of bitterness. Forgive yourself and others.
2. Cultivate a gratitude attitude; be grateful for what you have in life.
3. Always remind yourself of what your potential. Choose to be happy.