Do you disclose?
He died of a long illness…what’s the first thought that comes to your mind. My colleague recently lost her brother. She was racked with grief because she had been planning a holiday to see him in April 2015 since he had been sick for some time. She further explained that the family would have to meet to decide what to do about the kids because the mother had died two years ago…
And my thoughts run away… Could it have been Aids? But in all honesty…so what if it was. It is none on my business and my colleague was not under any obligation whatsoever to tell me. But I think for so long whenever we hear anyone has died of a long illness…most of us assume HIV. And still today there is so much stigma attached to “he died of Aids”.
When we hear cause of death tuberculosis, pneumonia, meningitis…we make assumptions. HIV itself will not kill you (it can) but mostly it’s the opportunistic infections that overrun the weakened immune system.
So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury….during the funeral when they talk about the deceased who he was, what he achieved in life and the cause of death…should they say it was Aids. Or do we leave the women gossiping in the funeral kitchen as they cook mountains of nsima or the elderly men gathered in the tent drinking illicit brews….to make their own conclusion?
If the deceased didn’t disclose while he was alive…is it fair to say anything? And to whom should you say it to. How often have you openly said to someone, a colleague, a relative, a friend that my aunt, my uncle, my brother, my sister, my daughter, my son died of Aids?
