Communication with the core people in your life is important, but equally important (if not more so) is communication with yourself. If you do not understand why you are doing the things that you are doing or why your partner is doing the things he or she is doing or your partner does not understand what you are doing, you are begging for problems that will stand directly in the way of achieving big goals.
Be fully honest with yourself. It is easy to convince ourselves that our mistakes are not really mistakes or that a mistake is not really a big deal. As long as we keep telling ourselves that poor choices are okay and not really a problem, we are going to continue to make poor choices. But listen, do not be afraid to take yourself to task for mistakes. Be hard on yourself about them sometimes.
At the same time, do not be shy to feel good about the positive steps you take. Feel ashamed when you do not bother to take a positive step. Feel proud when you do. Know that excuses are the worst enemy of all. Excuses are incredibly dangerous things. They provide a convenient reason to not follow up on the positive behaviors we know we should be doing. If you have to provide a reason to explain something you have done or are considering doing, it is an excuse.
Good choices do not require a reason or an explanation. If you find yourself making an excuse, whether you are excusing something you are about to do or making an excuse for something you already did, that is a giant warning sign telling you that there is a change you really need to focus on in your life. Why are you making that excuse, like postponing certain investments or saving decisions? Answering that question to yourself deeply and honestly is perhaps the most valuable investment of time and energy you can make.
At the same time that you are practising full honesty with yourself, you should also practice full honesty with your partner. Your partner is usually a big part of achieving your goals, so full honesty here is vital. If you make a mistake, admit it and say so. If you are struggling, admit it and say so. If you are frustrated, admit it and say so. It takes far more strength to be honest about such things than to hide them under a false veneer.
Wearing a sad or intimidating face and barking at your spouse and children at any slightest provocation when you are bothered with something, will only worsen things. Talk about everything that bothers you—and everything that brings you joy. Actually, they say there is courage in laughter after an affliction. Many people let minor problems fester inside of them until they explode in an emotional burst. Along the way, those festering problems often lead us to making regrettable money and time choices – and we are afraid to say it to our spouses when we flop because we did not consult them in the first place. Never ever let that happen.
If something is a problem, say so. Be clear about what the problem is and why it bothers you with the fullest honesty that you can muster. At the same time, encourage your partner to share everything that bothers them and listen to what they are saying, even if you disagree. If your partner is bothered enough to share it, then there is a problem there that deserves real attention. Problems will always exist in any relationship. The problem happens when one person feels that they can’t communicate those problems and that the other person is not listening. Feuds in relationships have a toll on spending decisions, believe it or not.
Well, this is not a session on how to manage relationships but it is about the importance of honestly communicating to yourself and those core people in your life before making important investment/money decisions in your life. What do you wish to achieve in life? What will it take to achieve that? Are the spending and investment decisions you are making now taking you there? Are you consulting those who matter in your life, like spouse, in these important decisions? Very important self-reflective questions
Blessed weekend to you and yours.