Effective communication for healthy relationships

It takes two people to have a relationship and no matter how well a couple knows and loves each other, nobody can read their partner’s mind; which begs the need for effective communication.

Sociologist Charles Chilimampunga notes that a relationship in which both parties are free to speak out their mind works better.

He believes that if things are kept bottled up in one’s mind, with time, they are bound to explode.

In effect, the sociologist says if a couple is open right from the beginning of a relationship, it is easier for them to communicate freely and be able to open up on issues affecting them.

However, there are times when people say a lot without speaking. Body posture, the tone of one’s voice and the expressions on their faces all convey a message.

In such instances, although admitting that messages might still be sent clearly to the other party non-verbally, he notes that miscommunication can occur.

Chilimampunga argues, therefore, that talking issues out is more ideal than sending non-verbal messages which might be misconstrued.

He further advises that couples should not shelve problems, adding that no one can solve a problem by simply avoiding it.

“You need to face the problem head on and do not postpone it. Evidently, there are times when not talking about issues immediately helps because not every time is the right time to talk about issues. Sometimes it is good to wait until tempers have cooled before attempting to address matters,” he argues.

If all else fails, Chilimampunga suggests involving a third party.

“But you need to be careful how you choose that third party. They can help you through your communication problems; just make sure it is someone who is trustworthy. Sometimes going out as a couple also helps. Spend some time outside the home, just the two of you. It would help you to get that much closer to each other,” he says.

In a past interview, Bishop Akinola Fowowe of Word Ambassadors Church International argued that women as generally emotional beings often respond to words.

“Good and caring words bring the best out of a woman. When such words are spoken, the star in a woman manifests and she performs wonders. However, when derogatory words are spoken to her, her emotions are wounded, which makes her bitter and behave irrationally,” he said. n