Going through a court story on Nation Online (www.mwnation.com) last Friday about a Mulanje couple who would have intimacy for six hours non-stop, left me a little out of my breath. So creative was the author Joseph Mwale that he even took a sports angle.
“As if it is a sporting event where winners anticipate gold medals, Kaponya Malinda and his wife, Joyce Misoya, would resume the consummation after a short recess, until dawn. They used to go to bed at 7pm daily and would have sex from that time to around 1am the following day,” read part of the story.
This was no fiction, this was real and fed up with her hubby’s ‘sexual abuse’, Misoya sought the court’s intervention and part of her testimony before Mulanje third-grade magistrate read: “Akakwera wakwera, samafuna kuchokapo. Kuchoka 7 koloko usiku, kumapuma cham’ma 1 mmawa, kenako kuyambilanso mpaka kuche zanditopesa ine! Ndufuna banjali lithe! (When we start the intercourse at 7pm, he would do it up to 1am and after a short recess, we would start again until dawn. I am tired of this and I want divorce),”
Now, here is a 50-year-old fella (Malinda) ‘performing’ for six hours non-stop and yet after the recent 2017 Afcon qualifier against Swaziland, Flames coach Ernest Mtawali had the cheek to tell us fatigue caught up with some of his charges due to lack of match fitness, really?
If a 50-plus-year-old man was able to perform for six hours, then I fail to understand how youngsters such as Gerald Phiri Jnr, Yamikani Chester and Micium Mhone could not last the distance in just one-and-a half hours? Maybe Ernest should consider roping in Malinda, I am sure he can be useful in offering tips on endurance. Glory be to God. Uloliwe…uloliwe wayidudula hah!, neng’esiza [The train is pushing].]