Fages Evance

They say life and its experiences can never be predicted. There are no formulas with which we all can look into along this precarious journey. While looking for ways out of poverty, then nine-year-old Fages of Chikhwawa opted for marriage to a fellow choir member, 15 years her senior, at a price of K1 500. Hers has been a journey of learning on the job as a young wife. A life undecorated by accolades or spectacle, Fages shares her nine- year experience in marriage that includes her return to school and an ambition to fulfil her dream of becoming a nurse. She speaks with Josephine Chinele of Malawi News Agency (Mana).

 

Please tell me about yourself.

My name is Fages Evance and I come from Khambi Village, Traditional Authority Masache in Chikhwawa.

Is this child you are carrying on your back yours?

Yes Madam, he is the last born. I have three other children who have gone out to school.

You seem so young. Are you married? How old are you?

Yes. I have been married to Evance Saidi since 2003. I am 18 years old.

 

Why did you marry so early?

Problems madam. I come from a very poor family. My mother died when I was very young and my father had to take care of me and my brother. By then my other sisters had already married. We lived in absolute poverty. I had to drop out of school when I was in Standard Four because he could not afford to buy me notebooks, uniforms and other necessities.

 

How and where did you meet your husband?

We used to sing in the same choir at Christian Assemblies of God church so he one day asked me to marry him.

Did you accept right away because you had problems at home?

Not necessarily. I initially refused, partly because I needed to tell him my predicament. I seized the opportunity to tell him that I had no mother and I was the only one who was supposed to look after my old father.

 

When did you finally accept his proposal?

He told me he was an orphan too and that I was better off since I had a father. He told me that fate had brought us together, that our meeting was heaven sent so we could take care of each other as people with similar backgrounds.

 

Were you convinced?

Yes I was convinced with the fact that he did not have parents either. To me this was one sign that we would live happily.

 

How did your father react to the news?

He was excited that finally our problems would be eased. He approved of our marriage right away.

What marital rite did you use?

We did not have a big ceremony for our union. Elders from my side met with those from his side and he paid K1 500 for lobola.

 

When was your first child born?

In March 2004

Did you expereince difficulties during pregnancy or when giving birth?

Not that much

 

Where was your first delivery?

I delivered my first born on the way to the hospital with the assistance of our neighbour since she was the one accompanying me to the hospital. I delivered the other three at the hospital. All of them were delivered normally and without complications.

 

What does your husband do for a living?

He sells goat meat  to fend for our family as well as my father.

 

You have four boys. Do you have plans to have more children?

We agreed that the children are enough

 

Are you sure you do not want a girl?

Hmmmm…(Hesitates and looks down without saying anything)

 

That means you would want a girl…?

God willing.

 

Are you on any family planning method?

I’m on Deprovera. That’s the method I have been using all along. I used to develop some problems so each time I gave it a break, I would conceive. That’s how I ended up having four children.

 

Can you tell me the spacing of your children?

The first one was born in March 2004, the second one in 2006, the third one in 2009 and the last one early this year.

 

How have you managed marital roles at such a young age?

I manage with his assistance since he is the head of the family. I make sure I do things the way he wants them to be to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings. A woman is supposed to be submissive and that is what I do.

 

How old is your husband?

He is 33 years old

 

How far did he go with his education?

He is a Standard Three drop- out.

 

Do you have regrets?

At times I get the feeling that I should have proceeded with my education, especially since I cannot read and write. That is why I enrolled myself for ‘school ya abuthu’, which are afternoon classes conducted in our village every week day to help us learn the basics.

 

What is school ya abuthu?

It is a programme which has come to our area with an aim of providing basic education such as English, writing, reading and simple mathematics to girls who lost an opportunity of going to school. This is to help them adjust easily in school should they want to return.

 

Do you have any dreams?

Yes, God willing, I wish to become a nurse. It hurts me so much how nurses treat me and other village women when we go to the hospital for medical help. They can leave us in the corridors and go for lunch when we are hungry and in pain. I wish I could be the one to change such attitudes to help people wholeheartedly and passionately.

 

Nine years down the marriage line, are your problems solved?

Marriage is something else which, I must admit, is not a problem solver. I am married but still poor. At times my husband borrows money from the village banking to boost his business but makes very little profit from it. Not much has changed in my life, but I’m glad I have a loving husband and children.