Life has a way of laughing at you. Just when you thought you had it all, it comes back and slaps you in the face leaving you with nothing. MWERETI KANJO seeks expert advice on how to walk tall again after falling.
You might not want to believe it, but social status plays a big role in how we conduct ourselves, especially if we are high on the radar. Falling from this status can be traumatising.
Think of a businessman who had everything; a fleet of cars and lots of houses, but ends up losing it all to debt or mismanagement. Or a chief executive officer (CEO) of some big company who is fired, has no solid investments and eventually runs out of money with which to feed and clothe his family.
The point is, being in a comfortable or happy position one minute and then suddenly losing it all, for whatever reason. Picking yourself up is easy. In fact, for many, the best is to stay down, drown in self-pity and remain afraid to go at it again because the first cut was just too deep.
How do you get up after falling from glory?
Professor in psychology Chiwoza Bandawe says falling is part of the road to bigger things but the important thing is to know how to accept it and get back on your feet. He says with this attitude, one will be able to see the good that can come out of falling-lessons on what not to repeat the next time around.
He agreed that fear sometimes keeps people from wanting to try again. This fear can be best dealt with when understood what it is about.
“The first thing in recovering from a fall is to accept that it is part of life. Reflect on what went wrong and the lessons that can be taken from that. By looking at it this way, the good can come out of it. Obviously, there will be fear because the person will have lost everything they had worked for but this is not reason not to try again.
“Have dialogue with the fear and understand whether it is fear of being incompetent or fear that you will fall again. You did it once; certainly you can do it again. It might not be at the same scale but you will definitely rise,” advises Bandawe.
Sometimes it is the social eye of society that keeps one in hiding, afraid to walk up straight and confident. But sociologist Pierson Ntata says it is the same society that can help one get back up.
He says it is at this time, when one has fallen that the social networks built over the years must show their importance.
“Society sometimes holds you back but it is the same society that will bring you back up. Talk to fellow people in the positions that you once had. Share your experiences and listen to their advice and comfort. You cannot do it alone, rely on these people outside your family circles,” says Ntata.