Family

Fathers should spend more time with their children

Raising a child is the responsibility of both parents. PAIDA MPASO finds out from people why fathers need to be part of their children’s life.

As children are growing up, it is the responsibility of every parent to take care of them and be there for them. Fathers should also spend some time with them which could be one of those moments a parent could be remembered once they are gone.

According to sociologist Dr. Charles Chilimampunga, fathers have qualities that need to be passed on to their children.

“Society expects mothers to provide guidance and also pass on the knowledge they have to their children but the same society expects men to assume different leadership positions. Therefore, if fathers spend their time with their children, they will be able to transfer some of these leadership skills,” he said.

Dr. Johnson Kumwenda of John Hopkins says he makes sure he spends some quality time with his two children and they talk about so many issues.

“I have two children. The conversations we have range from relationships, academic, about life in general and so many other issues that can affect the life of a human being,” said Kumwenda.

He adds that the big age difference between his children means that there are certain things that he can only be comfortable to discuss with the older one only.

“My first born child is 18 and what I discuss with him most of the times is different from what I discuss with the younger one,” he said.

Braynor Mlauzi, who stays in Ndirande, is a primary school teacher and businessperson. He has five children. Even though his children are all old, he says he still longs to spend some time with them.

“My youngest child is 10 while the oldest is 24. I am always on the road. I believe I work too much and wish I could spend some time with my children. I know they are old, but I still feel that there are some things about life that I can teach them,” he said.

Chilimampunga encourages fathers to also spend a lot of time with their daughters.

“Daughters miss out a lot if fathers neglect them. Before they get married they need to know how men act and how they behave and they can only do this if their fathers have passed it on to them through interaction,” he said.

United States’ Penn State Associate Professor of sociology, demography, human development and family studies Valarie King writes that a father’s involvement with his child’s upbringing can have a significant impact on his or her academic achievements and behaviour.

King says whether one is a step father or a biological father, he has to make the most out of the time he spends with his child.

In his article on parenting, professor of human development at Illinois, Brent McBride, says fathers need to start developing a relationship with their children while they are still young.

“We need to help fathers realise that what they do is really important. If we wait and only get fathers involved when children are having problems in school then that is too late,” he said.

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