Dear Big One,
I have a problem. My fiancé and I have been together for six years. But what worries me the most is that recently, he has started ignoring me. When I text him, it takes two good days for him to find the energy to respond.
Every time I ask why he does not respond to my texts or call me back when he finds missed calls, he says he was busy and assures me not to worry as he still loves me. Yet he finds time to update his Facebook and WhatsApp status almost every 30 minutes.
Why does he fail to take my calls? Why does he ignore my texts and why on earth does he not return my calls? Am I being fooled?
Sister Nena, via
Dearest Sister Nena,
First, I cannot really get the kernel of your apple. You guys have been promising each other marriage for six solid years? Geez, that is way too much! From what I see, you are a hypocrite! I can bet with my last coin that when your fiancé calls you, half the time you do not pick your phone because either your phone is in your handbag or you forgot it at home. This idea that when a man is not taking your calls, then he must be blowing off some steam must surely come to end. Most men I know hate mobile phones. Given a chance, most of us would want to go back to writing letters, sending a runner or a pigeon to deliver messages than these gadgets. Phones have landed us in trouble many times and we are tired of it. So, hush, your man is innocent and loves you to bits. You, on the other hand, are crazy. You can’t trust yourself and you think your man has all the time in the world to be responding to kikikiki and lol lol messages. You think he was born to be taking your calls all day long? What nonsense is this? Find something to keep you busy because your man is busy right now! Stop calling him during the day.
Should I fight her over my man?
I am 45-year-old hardworking mother of one. Last month, I walked into a restaurant for a lunch meeting with a business associate, only to bump into my husband having lunch with a woman whose face I had seen before in his phone. I could tell that his guest was not having a business meeting as she was giggling like a teenager who has been given sweets. Anyway, I gracefully walked to their table, a smile on my face, mixed emotions in my heart and said “hello darling” before walking to my table. I met my man at home in the evening, who asked me: “What were you doing in the restaurant? Are you stalking me?” I looked at him and wanted to slap his face, but I kept my cool. BMW, I am pissed off with the other woman. I am a born again and I believe that my man is not my God, my God is only one. Should I really be fighting her over my man?
MV, via WhatsApp,
Biggie believes as a society we can resolve cheating cases the right way; beating to a pulp the cheating man. No? But, seriously folks, days for women to destroy each other over a man are long gone. If a man has kids with another woman, please find peace in your heart and be comfortable enough to buy them sweets. If your man has another woman, get in touch with her and gang up to deal with the cheater together. I know you are sneering at me. I know love is emotive, but let me tell you, what will you gain after beating the other woman to a pulp? What will you gain after pouring hot urine or acid on MG 2 if not cold nights in jail? Dearest MV, I feel your pain and the embarrassment you might have endured after finding out that your man is cheating. But, I salute you for not causing drama and for being a woman. You have taught the idiot a lesson that you are not cheap and that you are better than him. You are truly a living example that there are still women out there who do not fight the other woman. This letter also shows that you fight for all women and that you are a good woman. Fortune favours fools, indeed. Mwamuna wako ndi mbuzi eti! Only a deranged and raving man can then go on the defensive claiming you are stalking him. Why can’t he wake up and face the world like a man and tell you as it is. And, by the way, he is an embarrassing careless cheat. Not that I am out to promote cheating, but this man has no respect for you by going into public dating up other women like a prime youth.
Big Man Wamkulu