Moving on from misfortune is never easy. Experts have recommended finding the positive in every situation as one way of moving on. Mwereti Kanjo cites a couple of mishaps and tries to find the good in each one.
In an earlier interview with Every Woman, psychologist Chiwoza Bandawe said one of the reasons most people fail to move on from tragedy is that they choose to feel sorry for themselves. He said everyone is allowed to grieve but eventually, you have to make the choice to rise up and move on.
And just how do you move on? Try to find the good in your situation, of course!
Ã¢â‚¬Å“The hindrance for most people is feeling sorry for themselves and asking Ã¢â‚¬Ëœwhy me?Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ all the time. We ought to remember that sometimes we go through painful situations that actually help us and make us better people. If you look and think positive all the time, making it through the hard times will come easy,Ã¢â‚¬Â advises Bandawe.
So what are some of the positives in our downtime?
An example would be losing your job. The plausible reaction is wondering how you are going to survive and make ends meet, which is normal because you have to eat and pay the bills. Still, with all that, try and think of losing your job as a chance for you to relax, pamper yourself, spend time with loved ones and do all the things that you wanted to do, but never had the time for. You might even take it as a chance for new beginnings. Maybe you were never even happy in your career!
Looking at it from this angle, you will be amazed at the amount of joy you will get from life. You will have no time to wallow in self-pity and finding another job will not be taken as a Ã¢â‚¬Ëœlife and death taskÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ but that a step up the ladder to better things.
The next example might is being single or getting dumped. You have everything but no one to share your love with. Even worse, you might be in a race with age and you feel like you are losing. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to spend their life alone and it is tearing you apart.
But look at it this way; there is nothing tying you down and you have all the time in the world to explore. You might be looking to upgrade your studies; in this case, there will be nothing to hold you back. There are so many joys of being married, but then too there are the responsibilities and fighting. Look at this time that you are single as a break from all the heartache. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Science has taught us that there is a positive and negative side to everything. The bottom line here is dwelling on the positive side in everything that you come across in life. Being happy is a state of mind emanating from the choice to look on the positives and smile.