In previous articles, I discussed the very healthy relationship between David and Jonathan. Perhaps you desire such a friendship. The Bible guides us not to keep ourselves alone and separate from others. On the other hand, we are not to pour out our trust and intimacy upon the ground only to have it trampled upon. The Bible, in Matthew 7:6 says ‘Do not throw your pearls to swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces’. The pearl of your life should not be trusted into the hands of an unfaithful person. Perhaps you fear to enter into such a close relationship. ‘What if the person rejects me? If he betrays me? How will I know that I won’t get hurt?’ you may be asking yourself. Vulnerability is the possibility of getting hurt. The principle of developing a close friendship is to groom oneself and the other person to be trustworthy, not to hurt one another.
If one wants a healthy relationship, they must first develop the character of trustworthiness so that the potential of being hurt doesn’t come to pass. Jesus makes a startling statement in John 2:24-25 ‘But Jesus didn’t commit Himself to them because He knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man.’
The word ‘commit’ here can be also translated as ‘entrust’. Jesus didn’t entrust Himself into the hands of all men. Why? Because He knew that most people were untrustworthy. The wanting to entrust Himself into everyone’s hands was there, but He knew he could not. What did he do therefore? He spent His time training them to get them to the point of being able to receive His trust. Not only was He willing to entrust Himself, but also train anyone who had the potential or willingness to be trustworthy.
I pray God will help us ‘commit’ and ‘train’ our friends into healthy relationships, with Jesus being our guide. n