Get off rollercoaster rides

We don’t have just one self-image – we have many. Our emotional behaviours in relationship and how we feel about ourselves arise from these images. This gets even more complicated when we consider that the other person in the relationship has behaviours and agreements driven by their self images. These images exist as belief structures in the mind and are often difficult to see in the beginning but as you develop awareness, it becomes easier

There are no perfect relationships; all relationships have their ups and downs, but you may need to make some adjustments if yours feels particularly precarious. Here are some tips to help ensure you don’t end up on what feels like a never-ending amusement park ride.

Avoid unnecessary arguments

Fighting just for the sake of fighting or out of boredom can cause your relationship to feel more like a see-saw than a serious adult situation. We all like being right, but not everything deserves to be turned into an argument. Disagreements happen all the time; they’re part of life, so either let them pass or discuss them calmly instead of resorting to a fight.

Compromise is key

One of the best ways to get your relationship on track and off the rollercoaster ride is to start compromising. It isn’t fair if one half of a couple always gets her/his way. This is why finding some middle ground is so important when arguments arise. This means looking at disagreements as something to be negotiated rather than a black-and-white, win-or-lose situation. An arrangement that suits both parties keeps everyone happy.

Ditch the drama

If you’re constantly making assumptions about your partner and then accusing him of things you’ve only conjured up in your overactive imagination, dial down the drama. This is not suggesting you avoid letting him know how you feel if he really has done something to upset you. If you’re just being dramatic and your hissy fits aren’t based in reality, though, your relationship is suffering. Stay calm and don’t overreact every time you assume something that may not even be true.

You are complete

No one can ever “complete” you. After all, you weren’t born with a huge void inside you that needed to be filled. Love yourself first – as a complete, perfect being – and radiate that love outward to your partner. Never expect a partner to fill some imaginary void or make you feel a certain way. Only you can decide how happy you’re going to be!

Give what you wish to receive

Show unconditional love, respect, appreciation, kindness, passion and friendship. Whatever you give will come back to you.

Be grateful

Whenever something is wrong in the relationship, be grateful for its lesson. The more gratitude you express, the more you will appreciate the gifts that relationships brings to your life.

You can avoid a rollercoaster relationship.