Go to see a urologist

Q: I recently read your book Sex for Dummies, and I found it very helpful and a very good source of information. My question stems from your persistent topic of STDs. There seems to be this weird pain in my manhood as I ejaculate, but this pain seems to happen only when I masturbate; when my partner and I engage in sex—always with a condom—the pain is not there. I am worried that I might have something. She is clean, and I have had only two other partners before her, both clean. So my question, then, is if I should see my doctor about this issue, and if so, how do I bring it up? Thank you in advance.

A: It is impossible for a lay person to judge whether a sexual partner is disease-free. I’m not saying that your partners have had diseases, but while the signs of some STDs can be visible on some people, that’s not necessarily always the case. To give you one example, some people who get herpes break out in very visible rashes while others may get only one tiny bump, and if it’s a woman and that bump is inside her vagina, neither she nor her partners would ever know, and yet she could transmit the disease. I’m not saying that you have a disease; while I don’t think what you are describing would have anything to do with disease, but more likely you are being a little rough with your manhood, that’s not something I can say with any certainty, not being a medical doctor and not having examined you. If you’re really concerned, go to see a urologist. But you also could try being a little gentler when masturbating, perhaps applying some lubricant first, and see if that helps.n