Perhaps one thing our elders never tell us about love when we are young is that it requires a lot of work. Oftentimes couples lose steam and find themselves drudging on. How do we rejuvenate platonic or romantic love that has fizzled out? Christopher Jimu finds out.
Love is very wonderful when things are going right but it is also a very disdainful thing if it is mentioned to someone who is facing difficulties with a partner. Even in the Bible, the word love is given a lot of prominence.
All of us are commanded to love our neighbours as much as we love ourselves. Despite this commandment, people normally cross each otherÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s paths and sometimes, best friends becomeÃ‚Â Ã‚Â worstÃ‚Â enemies; stable families break up.
So, what should be done when love has been lostÃ‚Â in a family?
Executive Director of Pakachere Institute of Health and Development Communications, Simon Sikwese, says lost love can be easily rejuvenated if the warring parties are brought to a round table for discussions. According to Sikwese, for love to reach its lowest ebb, there must be reasons that can be solved.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“Love can be lost if there is something that went wrong between a group of people in a family or at the workplace. If it is in a family, then it is very good to surprise your partner with a gift that will send a message that the party that was wronged should greatly appreciate.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“Once you see that your partner has accepted the gift, it is time to sit down andÃ‚Â iron out the problems that made you cross each otherÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s paths. If need be, go out to dinner at a secluded place where you will not be disturbed so that you talk and make proper conclusions,Ã¢â‚¬Â reasons Sikwese.
He hints that most relationships break down because of anger and lack of understanding.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sometimes when people have been wronged, they look for pleasure elsewhere and end up having unprotected sex, which makes them susceptible to the HIV virus.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“Love requires sacrifice, if you get married; make sure that you leave out some of the things you did as a single person. Communicate as much as you can with your spouse. Lack of communication also leads to relationships crumbling,Ã¢â‚¬Â Sikwese adds.
Daud Suleman, who isÃ‚Â chief information officer at Opportunity International Bank, agrees with Sikwese, saying that lost love can be retrieved if couples admit their mistakes then sit down to iron the issues out once and for all. They should also make it a point to spend most of their time together.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“Retrieving lost relationships is not easy but it is achievable if two people respect each other and have common goals in life. Sometimes, bringing in an objective party, a marriage counsellor to hear you out helps because a problem shared is half solved,Ã¢â‚¬ÂÃ‚Â Suleman advises.
Operations Director for Capital Glass, Chester Kayange, who has been married for seven years, saysÃ‚Â lost love can be rejuvenated if there is constant sharing of information between lovers.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“In times of trouble, couples should not challenge each other. They must work towards finding a lasting solution to the problem. Partners must understand each other better and they should never pretend that things are okay when they are in fact very wrong.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“If one party is wrong, the aggrieved person must not get very angry because most decisions made out of anger are counterproductive. If your partner has got a weakness, sit him or her down and iron out the differences in an amicable manner,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Kayange.