How to express appreciation to your spouse

 

Express it verbally. Some people think of love and appreciation as feelings and attitudes and they don’t know how to express them verbally. Other people hold back words because they assume that their partners know their feelings as if they were mind readers.

 

At first you may feel a little foolish expressing appreciation in words but keep at it and you will soon get used to it. Your mate needs to hear you say how you feel in your heart. You may feel that you have been expressing appreciation in other ways, by keeping the house clean, bringing home a pay cheque, or by preparing favourite foods, but these actions do not fill the need for expressing your appreciation in words.

Identify a specific quality. When you express admiration, avoid generalisations that arouse curiosity about what the person is trying say. Express appreciation for a particular deed or characteristic when it is evident. Examples would be a new hairdo, a courtesy, a new coat. This way, what you say will be taken at face value without further questioning.

Avoid flattery. Flattery and appreciation are two different things. One is sincere, and the other is insincere. One is selfish and the other is unselfish. Someone said, “don’t be afraid of the enemies who attack you, be afraid of those who flatter you”, appreciation and praise are based on character traits and actions.

Never get weary of praising. Develop the reputation for being an appreciative partner. Make sure that a day never goes by without an opportunity to admire some good quality in each family member. Expressing affection and appreciation day in and out is one of the most effective techniques for smoothing the rough edges of family life.