Last weekend, I was having a good time with my good friends Pilirani Kachinziri and little Gomezgani Zakazaka and my cousin Chaonaine Mkandawire at a club in town when Pilirani reminded me of an interesting story about a witch doctor [sing’anga] from Dowa who pulled a fast one on FAM in 1997 by claiming he had charms to help the Flames beat Zambia in a Cosafa Castle Cup match.
The way Pilirani theatrically presented it, as we got sucked up, sent us all into stitches. Apparently, PK, as I fondly call him, accompanied the Flames to Lusaka for that game. He demonstrated how the sing’anga convinced FAM officials that the Flames would win the game 2-0, but alas! They were thrashed 4-0.
He claimed that when the Flames conceded the fourth goal, the sing’anga, who sat on the Flames bench, could only look down with his spirit drained and said: “Eeeeehh! Mpakanafolo! Apazavuta!”
There was a cocktail party organised for the two teams after the game and according to PK, as the Flames drowned their sorrows, the sing’anga, who was taking Castle Lager, got intoxicated at a later stage and then whispered in a typical Chewa accent to the players: “Anyamata mankhwala abola nde akanika koma a azimayi ndiye ndiri nawo! [Football charms have not worked, but I have some to help win ladies’ hearts].
Now, until a South African witch doctor called Mchuzu predicted that Zambia’s Chipolopolo would win last year’s Africa Cup of Nations prior to the competition, I doubted if charms indeed work in football. And boy! Whether it was by mere coincidence or real, it happened, Chipolopolo won the cup.
There were wild celebrations in the Zambian capital to the effect that prostitutes offered ‘shushu’ sessions free of charge.
Sadly, there was no such luxury this time around in Lusaka and I hear the hookers have even doubled the charges in frustration.
Well, I arrived in South Africa a few days ago to cover the final stages of this year’s African showpiece and my wish is to meet Mchuzu and sweet talk him into providing charms to help my beloved Flames win the 2015 Nations Cup and perhaps help me win a Zulu woman [Eeeh mbina ya chi Zulu sinama!].
On a serious note, though, it is sad that only one team from the Cosafa bloc made it into the last eight of the African showpiece, it probably speaks volumes about the gap in class with west African teams and in truth, Zambia deserved no more than what they got as they failed to produce anything like the form that won them the title last year. To God be the glory! Uloliwe..Uloliwewayidudula hi..Nang’esiza! [The train is pushing!]