I am 26 and recently found out that my hubby, 28, has a side chick. I was furious at first, but after asking for advice from my mum and aunties, I learnt to act cool about it. Seven months down the line, I am cool with him having a side chick as it relieves me the pressure of sex and attention.
I run a small business so it has saved me a headache of worrying about his whereabouts. Although once in a while my woman instincts kick in and I call the side chick to find out if our man is well feed.
I have reached a stage where marriage is a bit more spiritual and beyond the contract or the things you say to each other or the number of people in the ceremony.
However, this view is pissing off a lot of people, especially my friends and church people who want me to deal with hubby by chasing him out of the house.
Is it wrong for me to be cool with a cheating hubby?
Madiya, via WhatsApp, Blantyre
Every marriage has different rules. You have set rules for yourself and you are okay with it. Why do you want your friends to mess it up for you now?
As a man, I would actually be cool with my wife setting such rules for me. Actually, most men would be happier if women gave them the one-side-chick allowance at least once a year.
But worry not as you are not alone on this one.
One woman recently confessed to me that she is cool with her man having a side chick as long as they are ‘more chicks’, not one.
She told me—tears rolling down her cheeks—that because if he has one on the side, he is going to fall in love. “But if there are ‘chicks’ and he is doing his thing, I’m his number one, clearly and in every way.”
She was in pain and I was ready to take her in my arms. The disclaimer, women want in these matters, is that the man though doesn’t have to let her know about their men’s ‘chicks’.
I take it that, women who say I am cool with my man having a side chick are lying. No woman wants to share the spoils of war with another warrior.
To cut this issue short, mum, I am cool with you being cool with your man having a side chick.
What a lucky man, you have.
Komatu mupwetekana kunja mkwa Edzi uku!
Big Man Wamkulu