‘I am going back’
Honestly, my experience with the various Pentecostal churches has left me up to here with intoxication of invasion of privacy. I have been here and there in search of the word and the face of God. I have been genuine in my quest, but little did I know what I was getting myself into.
Yes, I was never coerced, went at my free will, but the coercion and undue manipulation calls for a red card. I guess the excitement of miracle works and the huge gatherings they were attracting did not elude me. I have
gone to places hoping my life will be laid better in a twitch of a moment, that God’s direction would come just by my attendance of a service and that by the time I get home, my life would be well made like a bed in the morning. I have watched others get their prophecies, speak in tongues- evidence of the Holy Ghost manifestation and have watched people fall in all directions. Me? Well, I have been mostly a spectator and have been impressed.
But it is time from me to return to my roots, my original church and so-called traditional gatherings. My curiousity in now satisfied. Every time I entertain an invitation to a prayer gathering, I have experienced a form of clinging. For me, it has been a mistake because once I missed a service, I been hounded with phone calls and home visits, asking me why I did not attend church. Some have gone to the extent of accusing and threatening me that God will desert me for missing church and that the kind of anointing I get from them is retained only by attending services. I have been judged so to speak, for missing God’s presence and plainly told ‘war unto me”.
This has scared me. But the God I have come to know and acquaint myself is not of this nature. He says in his book that he is omniscient. He hears even the most silent prayers. He is the kind that wants personal relationships with Him.
He hears, understands and answers, with or without a referee or chair. He is never pushy and allows for choices. He will visit whoever has an open heart, is obedient and faithful. But most pastors wants to create overdependence for the sheer purposes of manipulation, so followers can do as they wish. They want
us to jump when they say so, scream when instructed and surrender our intellectual capabilities for selfishness.
I have had enough. If I want God, I must look for Him and follow him, not impositions. It must not be a campaign
because the human nature tends to rebel. When pursued, it goes the opposite direction. My experiences have
been much more than I write today, but the traditional churches are turning out to be saintly. They are established and have structures necessary for all social requirements. They have squabbles and equally greedy leaders. They too leave a lot to be desired. Well, better the devil I know than distant angels. I shall strive for a more personal relationship and avoid igniting unnecessary attention or interest. I do not know why and will avoid being judgemental. I am sure others have their own experiences.
Enough of the hounding. Traditional churches, here I come. Whatever else that happens in these churches is none of my business and will not endeavour to discuss them.
