I am one of your most profound followers because I believe you give the best advice so I hope you will be able to give me a solution to a problem I am having.
You see BMW, I was brought up in a strict home, one of the requirements which is most strict on us women than the men that we must remain pure (sexually) until marriage. I did just that until my wedding day to a man whom my parents had selected for me. We have been married for over a year now but BMW although this man is my first, he does not satisfy me at all.
He finishes before I have even started feeling anything, I can describe sex with him like sleeping with a tree, I hate sharing that part of me because he satisfies himself only as if my duty is to provide pleasure for him and forget about my own feelings. I thought sex was supposed to be an intimate thing shared by two people who love each other and care about each other’s needs, BMW I don’t even know what an orgasm feels like. So I remained pure for nothing?
Purity, Liwonde, via E-Mail
Biggie was busy this week. I was in Lilongwe on an office errand. But when I saw your e-mail, I shared it with MG2 to help me with a response. Here is her response:
My sister Purity let me first thank you because you have kept yourself pure until marriage, which is very rare these days when teens are having marathon sex with people as old as their fathers. Purity, I hear you very well because before I met BMW (oops) I was in a similar predicament, my boyfriend was lazy, too lazy and I know you are not the only woman going through this torture.
You see, men can be selfish sometimes, they only think about themselves and not their partners. That is why a man is only your friend in bed, when he is done with you he does what he wants. Some men do not even give you a call to say thank you for the nice time you gave them. That’s men for you! But do not lose heart; sex is the most wonderful thing, once you meet a man like BMW. I can attest you will never look back. Feeling and watching me climax, is what he does best.
But your husband should be ashamed for his under-performance. I believe a man is not a man sexually until he has made someone climax. Orgasm is the best part of sex for a woman and once he manages to get you there you will look at him in a different light, and I can bet you will even be begging him for some more.
So my advice to you my sister is, try to talk to your husband about your problem. Tell him how you feel about your sexual experience with him. If need be, when the time comes that you are in the moment, tell him how to touch you and what to do, if need be, guide his hands to places you want to be touched. And remember foreplay is the best way for a woman to be aroused, so incorporate that into your lovemaking. If he is a good man like BMW he will listen.