Dear BMW,
I recently met a terrific guy and fell head over heels for him. He seemed very interested in me in the beginning. After we had lots of sex, he started ignoring me completely. But I had fallen in love with him and I could not help but think about him all the time. I always thought our feelings were mutual, but I am convinced that all he wanted was to pound the yam.
I am a perfect woman and I have been doing what he wants. I cook. I clean his house. I do not touch his phone or ask ‘where are you?’ when he is not home. But it seems he cares very little. I try to always look attractive for him, and at night I sleep commando, so that he is well entertained. I really please him in bed, I really do. But BMW, all my efforts are to no avail. Nothing changes. He still treats me like any other girl.
Am I making a fool out of myself? Or all men behave like this?
I am very hurt Biggy, help please!
Kia, via WhatsApp, Mzuzu
Dearest Kia,
He certainly is not like the rest of us men who care about our women. That he is so macho, you cannot deny. But he does not know how to love.
Such men exist. They enjoy to be with a woman, have a good time with them and get on with their lives. They care less for how you feel and what you think.
We can’t deny that masochists like him exist, although they should have been obliterated from the earth centuries ago! They come in many forms. They pretend to be in love and try all the cards in their game to convince you that they are good in bed and when they get to you, they disappear.
Kia, you may have thought your feelings were mutual. No. This man was just acting up.
Next time, be careful about men you think you share mutual feelings with. They are snakes in grass. Real sluts!
But, I will tell you what, not all men are like him. Not all men are good for nothings like your apparent love! I am not trying to sound sweet or bitter to your ear, but that is the truth. Think deeply about your life—whether that is in bed, or anywhere else— be yourself, please.
The question of whether morality has to do with being evil or not is not for me to answer. Whatever religious literature you use, you will make out whether this man is evil or not.
But my one kwacha advice to you is: Forget about this good-for-nothing man and get on with your life.
Big Man Wamkulu
