Dear Big Man Wamkulu,
I am 27, an alcoholic and my wife is still studying at one of the technical colleges in the country. Together, we have one kid. I impregnated my wife while we were in primary school. Since leaving secondary school, I have not been lucky to get a real job apart from being a security guard.
Biggie, security guards do not get paid much, in fact, clients pay three times more for the security dog services than for putting my life in the line of fire.
Because of my precarious financial position, my wife, who comes from a rich family, declines to live with me. Currently, she lives with her parents where I am not allowed to visit. In fact, her father has warned me that the day he will see my face again, he will shoot me with his hunting rifle.
I love my wife and she assures me that she loves me too, but I am getting worried that we will never live together because of her ruthless parents.
I am cold and lonely. I need my wife.
Could she be cheating on me?
GSK, Kasungu, via WhatsApp
It is possible that someone is sleeping with your wife, which doesn’t surprise me. There is no indication that you are legally married or that you paid chiwongo, which means she is merely this girl you impregnated and have sex with when she comes to see you. Why you think she is your wife, I really do not know.
Secondly, ‘your wife’ lives with her mum and dad because she wants the best for your child. Man, you need to wake up and smell the coffee, you have no job to support her and the baby. Why should she come and die in poverty? Because she loves you? Whoever said ukwati ndi kupilira was totally high on hemp. Women these days, do not only need love, they also need good food, clothes, a nice house, a flat screen and a car. Is that too much to ask from a man? If you cannot afford these, please leave this woman alone. She is not your type and you cannot afford her.
In this country, there are a lot of your type, who can barely feed yourselves yet you are good at fathering kids you cannot afford to feed. You soil rich people’s daughters and expect these girls to live with you in squalor? Shame on you!
Stop whining to Biggie that a dog is getting more pay or people paying more than you, grow some balls, boy. Go back to school; get a good job to put that woman in your house.
For now, accept it that you are not man enough for her. To her, you are just the father of her child. Achimwene, move on!
Big Man Wamkulu, SC