Is she too old for me?

Hi Biggie Biggie,

I am in love with a woman whom I have dated for five years. After loving and sharing so many memorable moments with her, I realised she is too old for me. When I am with her I feel sad. When we are out together I feel like everyone is laughing at me for being with a woman older than me.

But truth be told, my woman is the most amazing and beautiful woman alive. She is kind and loving, but Biggie, she is too old.

Should I dump her and run?

Banda, Liwonde, via WhatsApp

Ada Banda,

An employer has two choices: Hire a young management trainee and waste valuable time and money training them, or get an experienced hand who walks into the job knowing what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Do you want to waste time training a rookie who will be employed by others or someone who is tried and tested. The choice is yours.

If I were you, I would really think twice before dumping her. You see, young chicks these days tend to want more action and want someone who can last longer, and if you do not satisfy them be assured that they will stray, but for older mamas, they have enough experience to make you and themselves happy.

Another thing, bro, is that younger chicks are wild and averse to a struggling man. They want a big house, a big car, a big fridge, a closet full of useless shoes and a big curved TV! So, do you want a woman who only wants money, money, money or one who tells you, “Darling, let us plant our own mpilu in the backyard?” Make your choice!

Age is nothing but a number and if you love that sugar mama of yours, and her eggs are still intact, oh please put her in the house and get that bed creaking all night long.

Ndanena ndanenanso!

BMW

I love two men

Dear BMW,

I have been married for 10 years and have one child with my husband. I love my man very much and I can’t imagine living without him. However, I am also in another relationship with my college sweetheart.

My love for my husband can’t be compared to the love I give my boyfriend. The affair with my boyfriend is just a continuation of what we started when we were kids. I can just say we are fond of each other. I like him as a friend and he supports me emotionally when my husband is detached especially when the pressure of raising a family takes its toll as we can go for weeks without making love.

If we have financial problems, my man is never in the mood. He gets excited only when things are going smoothly. When problems arise, he blocks me out, denies me sex and fails to support me emotionally. He is present physically, but absent emotionally. At such times, I turn to my boyfriend, who is also married, for emotional support. We meet, eat, have sex, talk and discuss issues before I go back home.

Biggie, my boyfriend is my true friend and sometimes we can meet and not have sex. We just talk, and share stories. He gives me a shoulder to cry on. If it was strictly about sex, then I wouldn’t be with him, because his performance is as lousy as my husband’s. I would have otherwise looked for someone who is a stud in bed.

But I am tired of leading a double life, what should I do?

B H, Nyambadwe, Blantyre via WhatsApp

Dear BH,

I have bad news for you, BH. You are between a rock and a very hard place. At first, I was tempted to say that you are cheating on your husband. But after reading again your message I have realised that we are dealing with a common problem women face.

As humans, we are not meant to be isolated. We all crave deep and lasting connections with other people. Biggie can tell you from experience that it’s possible to sleep in the same bed with someone for years and still feel lonely. Many of us never expect to be lonely in marriage, hoping that our spouse will be the lifelong companion who saves us from loneliness. Over time, however, couples can gradually disconnect from one another and find themselves feeling isolated and withdrawn.

We all also know that these days it’s impossible to find a man who is really close to his wife. Men these days are obsessed with beer, cars, Premier League, side chicks and other things. Wives are rarely on their mind. The sad fact is that a man can even go solo in the shower while his wife is starving in the kitchen. Kufa ndi ludzu mwendo uli mmadzi. Girl, men can sometimes be selfish.

So should we blame you for seeking comfort in the arms of another man? No! However, the reality is that sooner or later he will find out that some fool has been pounding his yams and when that time comes, be prepared to face the music because men do not forgive easily. Men can share a girlfriend, but we do not share a wife.

BMW

ED NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 998-110-975. No calls please!