We, Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson, SC (RTD), Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, AMAI (RTD), Mzee Native Authority Mandela and I, the Mohashoi, are leaving Nkhamenya today after fulfilling our touristic, cultural and gastronomic engagements. To be honest, we have enjoyed our stay here, which has been crowned by the company of open-minded Nkhamenyan professional business captains like Mbwenumbwenu and Kodikodi.
We have appreciated the services restaurant operators here offer, particularly the sangweji and tiyi wa khofi (coffee) served in jomela or komeshi (cup). We will forever acknowledge the role played by the alcohol distributing assistants, previously called bargirls. They made our stay here quite comfortable. We will certainly comeback when our monetary experts get in control of our economy. Inflation, one genuine economist has said, is neither accidental nor uncontrollable. It is a result of human failure.
As the most grateful people in this wretched federal republic, we had to bid our hosts goodbye in grand style. So, after fulfilling our engagements in Mabilabo and Kanyika where we confirmed that most of the so-called investment in rare earths mining is mere noise by leaders devoid of ideas for developing Malawi, we got down to real touristic business. At Kanyika, we also confirmed the fears the locals, the natives and semi-natives of Kanyika have about the rare earths mining investors.
We spent an optimally hilarious time in the bar where we had first Mbwenumbwenu and Kodikodi. As the drinking and dancing to great modern songs, such as Malonda ndi Kumbuyo and Itukule (Mbina), took charge of our senses, our fears, nationalism, and moral integrity slowly gave in to free expression. The DJ, named Munthuwaka, competed with us because he did not want us to drown his music equipment’s output.
“You see, in Rwanda and Uganda, the government does not allow any so-called investor to operate until that prospective investor has implemented social responsibility investments,” Mbwenumbwenu said trying to beat the din of Munthuwaka’s music.
“But here in Malawi,” Kodikodi joined in, “we allow people to collect up to 10 tonnes of precious stones, earths and liquids for testing in their home countries. We are not even interested in the results of the testing. Does a genuine investor need so much tonnage just to test?”
“Even worse, we allowed our Australian friends to test so much Kayelekera uranium that later they simply declared the mine there not commercially viable for the time being, leaving the locals unsatisfied with social responsibility investment and uranium deposit but plenty of worries about WASH contamination and degradation,” Mbwenumbwenu said.
“What is WASH?” Mzee Native Authority Mandela asked.
“Water, Sanitation and Hygiene,” Jean-Philippe explained.
“The problem with Kayelekera is that the government, headed by very arrogant people, did not want to listen to the Rafik Hajats, the CHRR and other NGOs that asked for more transparency before the mine started operations!” I said.
“Koma dziko lino. How come that we don’t learn from our mistakes? At Kaziwiziwi and Mchenga coal mines, our so-called investors were allowed to operator without considering the WASH of the people surrounding the mining area. At Kayelekera the story is the same. That might explain why Kanyikans have held their feet down and demanded that unless something serious is done about their welfare, the niobium prospectors might as well pack their luggage and head home. They are neither fools nor anti-investment but want their share of the earth-extractions,” Mbwenumbwenu said, belching like a pregnant hyena.
“Maybe we should start asking why our leaders pretend not see what everybody can see,” Abiti wondered.
“Or how a whole federal republic can accept to get 15 percent out of a lucrative investment like the Kayelekera uranium mining project. Imagine that you planted sweet potatoes. You ask someone to dig them all up when they have matured and you give him 85 percent of the harvest for his labour. What will your neighbours think of you?”
“God-fearing!” Jean-Philippe answered sarcastically.
“God-fearing or lunatic?” AMAI queried.
“I know not. But Malawians should ask themselves why they don’t ask why Malawi’s mining law gives all the powers over Malawi’s mineral resources to the president?”