Keeping love and thrill alive in marriage
Often, women think their husbands loved them more before marriage. They tend to miss the holding of hands in the streets or the one drink, two straws outing scenarios.
They reflect on times when their husbands were still their boyfriend. They think about all the fancy and expensive clothes, shoes, jewelleries and many more their husbands bought for them during courtship.
Reminiscing on all the lunches and dinner; all the money spent on her, many women consider courtship blind and marriage an eye opener. They feel without the spoils, love dies.
It is easy to conclude that love stops existing after marriage. Let us not forget though that things done during courtship are meant to win the woman, by doing almost anything for her.
Of course, some men hide their negative aspects, showing only their good side rather than the bad, which gets exposed once married.
Other men may change after marriage for a number of different reasons, such as dissatisfaction with what they have. No matter how beautiful, forgiving, supporting or loving a man’s wife is, he’ll always feel he missed a better bus.
Most of the time, these feelings are expressed in behavioural change pattern, which put their wives in a dark world where they feel abandoned and rejected.
However, women should not confuse the courtship stage with what happens in marriage. In the courtship stages, the men would say anything to gain their potential wife’s interest and approval.
To add salt to pepper, the women are willing to listen and buy most of what men say. That’s all. Most men don’t suddenly change. The later to be found violent ones were beasts before and after marriage. But even if the potential wife gleaned the potential abusive tendencies during courtship, she was willing to look the other way, saying to herself and others, “I love him.”
Another reason for changes in a man after marriage is the marital contract. Once he obtains a woman’s signature and her: “I do”, that is all he needs to feel secure that she can’t get away; and must deal with his many flaws and shortcomings. He may no longer feel the need to impress her, woo her, or even tell her he loves her once she’s locked down for life.
Men also enjoy the thrill of the chase. Once they obtain a woman’s hand in marriage, the chase pretty much ends. Sometimes the thrill ends as well.
Though many men “change” after marriage, it is possible to rekindle his attention in the marriage like when you were in courtship. The first thing a woman can do is to try and look impressive for their husbands just like during courtship. Buy new clothes, shoes, get the hair done. All these serve to draw a man’s attention back to his wife.
Another thing a woman can do is plan a mini-honeymoon or getaway. This helps strengthen love because spending quality time together helps the man show affection for his wife.
