I know you need the money, can’t reject a promotion and are seeking greener pastures. That’s fine. Your spouse is giving you a headache and you need the break, good. Many men ‘run away’ from marital challenges and once an opportunity to travel out of the country presents itself, they grab it with both hands. That is better than committing suicide or dying of high blood pressure.
Women do the same. More are travelling out to make more money for husband and children. It’s okay to seek more money for your family’s provision. It’s okay to eradicate the shame of poverty and be seen as a financial hero upon your return from overseas. It’s okay to fend for your family and loved ones.
The challenge is; many things suffer. Husband, wives and children suffer emotionally and physically.
Money is not the main reason we get married. We get married to help each other keep the sanity. This keeps us balanced to serve God, pursue our dreams and succeed. When emotional, physical and sexual needs are not met, you have a very serious problem in your hands. Your spouse needs to see and talk to you daily, not just on the phone. He or she needs to have sex at least once a week. Your children need your touch, physical and emotional support as well as training. And mostly, they need both parents for security and safety. No amount of money in the world can replace that.
There is too much emotional gap in long distance marriages. When one spouse is gone for three months, another for years, how do they have sex? Through sending nudes, video sex, flirty chats or what? Are you serious? How can you excite each other by displaying all the goodies and expect to keep sanity? A man is never going to be normal until he releases the sexual pressure you put on him virtually. Any woman close by may help him douse the fire. Pumped up women may seek sexual satisfaction from male friends while waiting for husband’s arrival.
Adultery is getting rampant because people are living in denial. Money is placed over intimacy and friendship in marriage. Legitimate sex is being destroyed. Nobody cares as long as there is money, you are living large and society respects you. You can’t eat your cake and have it.
Either travel with your family and enjoy all the money and intimacy together or stay together wherever you are and pray that God blesses with a job or business that won’t take you too far from your family.
It’s okay to travel out once in a while or as often as your business, ministry or career demands, but when it becomes too frequent— several months, years and your spouse is dying physically, spiritually, emotionally and sexually— you need to sit down and wear your thinking cap.