Longing for Kamuzuism, hope and real change

When the Monkey Bay afternoon heat toned down, by Monkeybian standards, the Monkeybians started milling around the town centre and going about their usual chores, eschewing a living as they have done since the colonial days, through the terrorist days of the Modern Conservative Party, the shambolic days of the Union of Democratic Foundations, the tantrum-packed days of the Deadly Political Planners and the current indescribable administration. Those who are old, the living archives of Malawi’s indigenous knowledge and the unsponsored, independent and fearless chroniclers of our socio-political history, can and do compare the remote and immediate past, and see a very bleak future despite the euphoria created by the unexpected changes in the Modern Conservative Party in the collective psyche of the young and excited post-1992 Malawians.

We, that is Native Authority Mandela of Monkey Bay, Sheikh Jean-Philippe, SC, and I agreed to drive out of Monkey Bay for a while. Sheikh Jean-Philippe proposed that we visit Chembe Village, the very place the Scottish Missionaries called Cape Maclear and chose as a launch pad for their voyages of evangelisation of Nyasaland and the hinterland; but which proved to be the graveyard of many of their kind.

“What really do you want to see there?” I asked.

“Haven’t you heard about the place?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.

“I know every corner of Malawi,” I said.

“And what do all other foreign tourists go to see there?”

“That’s the question.”

“Then let’s go and find the answer,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe joked.

It was an order. So, I asked Native Authority Mandela of Monkey Bay to jump into the back seat of the Toyota Harriet, our versatile all-road and all-weather vehicle. Sheikh Jean-Philippe jumped into his seat.

We drove southwards. After the Money Bay Hospital, we turned right and passed through the villages, ducking a goat here, a pothole there and a child somewhere until we joined the T378 dirt track to Chembe.

“You know what?” Native Authority Mandela started, “this trip has reminded me of my Youth League days. Although I worked as a porter at the Jetty, I used to come here to whip up support and collect money for the Modern Conservative Party.”

“Youth League? What’s that?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked, puzzled.

“The Modern Conservative Party had several wings, which included the Modern Young Pioneers of which the Youth League was a branch. We were more disciplined than the multiparty devil-painted youth wings. Our job was to promote Kamuzuism,” NA Mandela said.

“Did you say Kamuzuism?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.

“Kamuzu was Malawi’s first president,” I answered dryly.

“Stop preaching to the choir. But, I have never heard about Kamuzuism,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe said.

“In training, we learned that Kamuzu, though born out of interactive bursts of human pleasure, was a God-send, the father and founder of the Malawi nation, the messiah, the infallible life president, the Ngwazi, protector and defender of the women, and the crusader who was always right, “ NA Mandela explained.

“And did you believe that?”

“Well, there are several things we believe because everybody believes. At the time we all , included today’s so-called democrats, believed in Kamuzuism.”

“What did you benefit most?”

“Power. We were powerful. We could terrorise chiefs, villagers, confiscate anything even from white tourists and expected no punishment,” NA Mandela asked.

“That was terrible,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe remarked.

“But our power collapsed when the army whipped sense into us. Before that we believe we were above the army and we could fight wars and defend Malawi without the army. We were very, very wrong! I hope the newly elected messiah of the Modern Conservative Party will not take us back to Kamuzuism, for which seekers of real change and hope are longing.”

We drove down the winding road slowly until we got down to Chembe Valley. Then we drove Westwards to Fattest Monkeys, a small well maintained drink-and-pay eatery, where we elected to spend the afternoon before driving back to meet the till operator from the Monkey Bay PTC shop.