Looking for a killing
By public demand, I am writing again about the Lonely Hearts section in the Sunday Times that caught my attention recently. Usually I skip that page but, on this particular day, I was drawn by the number of messages from men—mostly in their early 20s looking for sugar mums. My initial reaction was that of surprise. I did a quick count of the messages and found out that out of 24 messages sent by, 16 were looking for sugar mums. Men as young as 18 years old, are looking for women old enough to be their grandmothers.
I have no problem with young men dating older women after all they say age is nothing but just a number and love shouldn’t discriminate. However, I have a problem with the motive of dating older women. These young men explicitly state that they are not working and there is no word of them looking for a job or interested in doing business—they are looking for financially stable sugar mums who can sponsor their rock star lifestyle. In other words, this is a calculated move by the ‘boys’ to fleece these naïve older and mostly financially stable but divorced, widowed or never married before women of their hard earned money.
We are all aware of the staggering unemployment rate figures in Malawi. What is more worrying about these figures is that the majority of the unemployed are the youth. The job market is failing to absorb graduates graduating every year. While others have ventured into small scale businesses to make ends meet, others are idling away, probably waiting for a breakthrough after sending countless job application letters. Then there is the adventurous and lazy bunch of young men who have devised a way of making a killing out of dating women twice the age of their own mothers.
These young men love the good life. In their vocabulary, good life means wearing sleek, slim designer suits while driving classy cars—the ones that make people turn their heads as they drive by. I will not even attempt to describe the type of phones they own or wish to own.
It’s clear that there is no love but financial gains on the part of the young men. These are lazy young men who want the women to fund their extravagant life. And these are the sort of people we are entrusting the future with? There are no short cuts to success. Those we admire didn’t get there or own what they have by chance, they worked hard. I know some will give excuse that that jobs are hard to come by but that’s not enough reason to indulge in sex with older women for the sake of getting a Samsung S6 or a designer suit.
And women too, how does it feel undressing in front of boys the age of grandchildren? Do you have no shame? Please preserve your dignity. There men your age out there willing to have you for a companion. The toy boys only shame you. They kiss and tell. That’s what they do.
As for you boys, get a job, start a business even if it means farming. Find something meaningful to do with your life. You have a whole life ahead of you. Temporary desires should not be allowed to ruin your future and life
