When love opts for an older man

Research revealed that famous men throughout history have at one point in their lives dated and even married younger ladies.

Younger ladies marry or date older men for various reasons. Many single women have found and achieved success early in their career, having reached that pinnacle of achievement and this produces a desire to find a mate who can reflect their values and achievements.

While there may be men of their age bracket who can complement them, being with older men can make them feel sophisticated and mature.

Moreover, many young women believe that older men have a lot to share and teach, considering their experiences and emotional equanimity.

Also, there may be less pressure and competition with older men compared to dating younger men. The chances of cheating may also be lesser with older men considering that they have already sown their ‘wild oats’ and may be looking for a more emotionally fulfilling relationship.

For younger women dating or marrying older men, the following tips may be very helpful:

Make sure he is a good fit: Instead of making sure you are a good fit for him make sure he is also a good fit for you. You may feel that you have to fit into his world since he is older, wiser and have set his ways. By doing this you are injuring your person. If you are not compatible accept and move on. You are too young to settle for someone who isn’t right for you.

Know your worth: You have more to offer than a hot body. Just because he is older and more experienced does not imply he knows everything.  You also have life experience and knowledge of your own that has value. Don’t be afraid to express your opinions and offer advice.

Don’t let him be daddy: Don’t even call him daddy. It’s just creepy. It’s perfect for you to allow him to take care of you, but should never sound like your father.

For the older men the following tips are helpful:

Be open about your past: Divorced? Children? Criminal record? Remember there is no Mr. Perfect on earth. But just because she hasn’t shared a similar experience, don’t feel that she wouldn’t relate to your life or issues. Open up and you never know what wisdom she could offer. Youth might imply less experience, but it doesn’t mean a lack of empathy, nous and emotional intelligence. And remember, it’s kind of sexy when a man feels empowered enough to discuss his feelings.

Treat the relationship the same you would with someone your age: There are enough hurdles to making a relationship work, however, old you are, so why let age add more stress? If you don’t make it an issue, chances are it won’t be. If you really like her, just go with the flow and be yourself, regardless of whether ‘yourself’ is a silly, dorky, immature 57-year- old or a wise and mature 24.

Respect modern values: If you are more than 20 years older than your date, its most likely that certain customs and values have changed, therefore, you should flow with and respect modern values.

Don’t flash the cash too freely: Salaries generally get bigger with age, so there’s a reasonable chance that you earn more than she does. This might mean you both have different lifestyle expectations. It’s courteous for both sides to be aware of the reality of the situation and remember there’s a difference between generosity and showing off.

Don’t assume you know better: Keep a check on your tone; is it supportive or patronising? You may think you have all the answers, but remember, no one is a custodian of all knowledge; avoid being Mr. know it all.

Take the lead: Women find confident men very attractive. This decisiveness and capability is lacking in younger men who are still insecure and trying to get approval from the society.