Make yourself more approachable
As women get older, chances of finding someone to share their life with become slimmer. Often, people will remark that if they don’t find someone to settle down with soon, then they will end up with a divorcee or widower.
But, given a choice, most women would want to marry someone of their own age, without children and all the drama that comes with them. Mwereti Kanjo asks around on how making oneself more approachable might improve the situation.
The reasons that most men will give for not approaching certain women include attitude, high level of success, family background and arrogance, among other things. Men are afraid to approach women who are more successful than they are because they fear that they will not be able provide to their level and that a woman with a bad attitude will not make a good wife.
In most cases, these conclusions will be made before the man gets to know you. It is heartbreaking because you might have a good car, beautiful home and no physical or emotional flaws yet are shunned because you are highly educated, even though you are not necessarily looking for someone who is more qualified than you are. You might just be looking for someone you can love and who will love you in return.
How then do you make yourself approachable regardless of your surroundings?
Marriage counsellor and newspaper columnist Memory Manjombe says the problem with the current generation of women is that they want to boast about their achievements. While this is not bad, it scares men away.
What women must is know is that a good marriage is one where you both start together from the same level. However, attitude down-plays everything else.
“There is a time for everything in life. You find that when you are finishing college, you are rude to all men that approach you, either because they have nothing or you think you are smarter than them. Then you get older and have bought all these things that are chasing men away.
“When all’s said and done though; you can have all the houses in the world, and the highest credentials but if you have a good attitude, men will still approach you because they can tell that you are wife material. Men will always know from the way you carry yourself. Just be humble. Most importantly; pray, because God will give you the man he made for you,†advises Manjombe.
Agreeing with Manjombe is Pastor, columnist and director of the Family Clinic Constance Masamba who says prayer and faith will bring you a good man. She says sometimes failure to find a true love is a result of generation curses from parents that can only be broken with prayer.
However, Masamba stresses that women today have forgotten their ultimate weapon which is beauty. She says women today are wearing trousers, some are shaving their heads bald and look like men.
“Men first get attracted with sight. So, we must not forget to dress up, put on that nice perfume, jewellery and dazzle them. Do not be too quick to judge men by their appearance; give them a chance and get to know them. This, however, does not mean you should sleep with anyone of them. You can get to know someone by just being a friend.
“In the face of all things, pray to God for guidance. Only He will give you the right man for you,†says Masamba.
