Marriage crises (1)

Seeking help in marital issues is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of wisdom and strength. Every marriage must sail past several recognised crisis points. Some couples take these crises in their stride; others who have seemingly healthy and secure marriages are thrown off balance. Work-related problems, in-law problems and infidelity are all critical points for any marriage. If a couple is made desperately unhappy by these problems and if they cannot solve them by talking things out, it might be wise for them to consult a marriage counsellor or a religious leader. Sometimes the act of moving towards professional help can in itself resolve the difficulty. In other cases, it may take a considerable amount of consultation before the couple begins to realise what is really troubling them. Then, they must act upon the knowledge they have gained to resolve their problem.

Sometimes a couple will take the wrong turn in their marriage. They will become irritated with one another and displeased with their marital state. They should seek help, perhaps through a marriage counsellor before the situation worsens and becomes irreversible. Even the most intelligent men and women are often helpless to deal with what is bothering them. They know something is wrong, they want to do something about it but they just don’t know how. A third party, a professional counsellor can often shed light on the problem.

Marriage counselling means working with the husband and the wife, talking first with each one of them separately and then with them together. It is done in the strictest confidence. Counselling need not be a long drawn- out process. It can mean only six to eight visits. The objective is to help people find their own solutions and build up their confidence to do so. Sometimes further help is indicated and the counsellor will then refer the couple for deeper sessions helped with the word of God and prayers and fasting.