Married coordinators

Last week, Chief Kazingist was in Mulanje, not for an excursion but to see a 10-year-old sick relative.

Confused, and without any means of transport, one of the relatives strapped the girl at her back to the bus stage where they caught a minibus to Mulanje District Hospital.

The girl’s father was informed and he arrived at the hospital an hour later. After realising that she was not being attended to, the father hired a minibus to take the patient and her guardians to Mulanje CCAP Mission Hospital.

After hearing the news, the chief man of the skirt did not hesitate but to rush to the hospital, too. He found the girl in a stable condition after receiving emergency medical attention.

After staying for some time at the hospital, Chief Kazingist decided to visit his friend at Mulanje Boma, who was also feeling unwell.

“But despite being unwell, I can still walk. Please come and pick me up at my home,” he said.

Chief Kazingist drove to his house and found him watching television. A few minutes later, he asked whether they could go to one of the popular joints at the Boma. So they went.

At the joint, Chief Kazingist and his friend were soon joined by two women who came to occupy empty chairs near them. Kazingist’s friend knew one of them, but bought beer for both.

“I am Grace and my friend is Mary,” said one of the women. As she continued with introductions, her phone rang. She looked at the number and soon started crying loudly to the amazement of the people that patronised the place. There was a blackout at the Boma, music equipment down, her wailing was her far. She then left the bar.

After some time, Grace was back and Chief Kazingist was so concerned that he wanted to know who had passed on.

“Nobody,” replied Grace.

“Then why were you crying?” Asked Chief Kazingist.

“You cannot understand how it works,” she replied. Then she explained.

The call came from her husband. She had told him that she had gone to the funeral when, in fact, she had gone to the bar to entertain herself. So, when the husband called, she had to cry to create an impression that she was at a funeral.

“This has been working well for many years and it worked today,” said Grace.

“Aren’t you worried that he will one day catch you pants down?”

“If he does, and plays difficult, I will ask him where he thinks I get the meat and sausages that he eats at home when he knows I do not work anywhere. Actually, he asks for some more meat and sausages,” she said. n