Mary Nkosi

Mary Nkosi is a proud mother of three and a career woman. It has not been easy to reach this far. While three-month pregnant, she was demoted for forewarning her bosses about her impending maternity leave. They told her she could only resume her position of Assistant Chief Accountant after she delivered the baby. She rose above this among other challenges of being a mother and a career woman. Today, she is the deputy governor operations with the Reserve Bank of Malawi. She talks to Dumase Zgambo-Mapemba and Albert Sharra.

 Tell us about your family.

I am a widow who was married to Daniel Nkosi, but I am nee Masiku. I have three kids, two boys and one girl. My eldest is 35 while the youngest is 24. I have two grandchildren. I am the first born in a family of six. I grew up in a family of health practitioners. My dad was a medical assistant while my mother was a nurse midwife. Because of this and stories I heard about a medical doctor, Dr. Mary Salaka – Malenga, I wanted to be in the health profession. When I was selected to Chancellor College, I chose to concentrate on sciences so that I could later on shift to a medical career. But things worked differently.

What is your academic and professional background?

I did my primary school at St Maria Goretti and Dzenza Primary schools in Lilongwe. After my year seven, I was selected to go to Lilongwe Girls Secondary School and later on to University of Malawi-Chancellor College. I pursued Bachelors of Science degree majoring in psychology and biology. After graduation in 1973, I joined National Bank of Malawi the same year. In 1981, I went for a Post Graduate Diploma in Management Studies in United Kingdom.

How has been your professional journey?

Quite satisfactory. My 22 years with National Bank exposed me very much to the banking profession. I left National Bank in 1995 and joined Fincom, now Nedbank as Chief Executive Officer. I was appointed Deputy Governor of the Reserve Bank of Malawi in 2003 while at Nedbank. While there, I was also appointed President of Bankers Association and non – executive director of Comesa Bankers. My eight years at Nedbank are what have sold me so much because the various positions I held took me to various countries and exposed me to many prominent people in Sadc and Comesa central banks. I had opportunities to make presentations at Sadc Governors and Comesa Governors meetings.

What memories do you have of growing up?

Being the first born, my parents had a lot of expectations from me. They gave me all the support that I needed. I remember the day I went for boarding school at Dzenza, I was very young but they gave me all the support to help me achieve my goals. We grew up disciplined and with ambitions. Growing up in a family of educated parents played a big role in us because they were our role models. We lived in Lilongwe, Zomba and Blantyre. We lived a modest life but I would not say we were well off.

I remember the best times I had with my siblings. I remember how stern my mother was on education and morality issues. And, (she chuckles and turns to her younger sister sitting beside her during theinterview) how strict I was to this one. She was quite a handful. I realised that she became a lot more scared of me than of her teachers. Oh, she was really something else. I am so glad that today she keeps on reminding me that I am her role model and she is so proud of me (They laugh in unison).

Did you face any challenges while growing up?

My dad was detained during the late Hastings Kamuzu Banda’s era. After some years in the medical career, my father retired and joined the private sector. Among them, he worked for Admarc where he rose to position of Executive Chairman from 1970 – 1977. His detention period was the most painful time for our family. As a first born, I had to make sure I supported the family morally and spiritually. We had to sacrifice time and money while comforting my mother and sourcing funds to drive from Blantyre to Mikuyu and Mpyupyu prisons in Zomba. You can imagine he was imprisoned for 14 years. But this propelled us to work extra hard and make it in life.

Who do you owe your success to?

I owe my success to my mum. From a very tender age, she instilled ambition in us. She was an entrepreneur who never shied away from taking risks. She was a commercial farmer and grew tobacco on a large scale. I remember she appeared in one of the tobacco/farming magazines somewhere around early 2000. She even set-up a filling station in Lunzu where up to now this young sister of mine runs (pointing to her young sister).

What exactly is it that you learnt from her?

I learnt to value education. She made sure we went to the right schools. She would go out of her way to do this. Of course, my father played his role, but it was my mother that was industrious. Maybe that is why in my family it is only my sisters and I, except one brother that made it to university. Of course, the rest of them are independent and comfortable. They had to find other legal means of surviving.

What difficulties have you faced at work as a mother?

I was three months pregnant. Upon realising how difficult it can be to find someone within a shortest time when somebody tells you at the last minute, I thought I was being smart by informing my bosses about it. With pregnancy, some women do not show until probably the 8th month. My post was that of Assistant Chief Accountant. Immediately I informed them, they gave me another job that was a lower post. They told me that I cannot serve in my capacity until I had delivered. It was counterproductive for me. I took exception to that and reported the matter to the Chief Executive Officer, who corrected the anomaly.

What makes you stand out?

When I see injustice being done, I do not keep quiet. It does not matter whether it concerns me or somebody else. I speak out.

How do you balance motherhood and a career?

It’s a question of knowing when to be a mother and a career woman. It is important that you make your children understand your different roles. But you do not have to abandon your family. Whenever you have time spend it with them.

How unique are you as a mother?

Despite my busy schedules, I have tried very much to attach myself to my children. I make sure whenever I have time to travel with them. Sometimes my friends ask kodi anawa mumangoyenda nawo bwanji? Even if I am going to the market, I take them with me.

What is your biggest challenge as a mother?

I have realised that my career desires do not tie-up with my children’s. They have their own career preferences. Being someone who is knowledgeable of the job market and economic trends, I thought it was best to help them with career choices. I have learnt that it does not always work that way. For example, I told one of my kids to pursue accounting. I was wondering why he was not performing yet he is a brilliant child. He told me that he was studying that programme just to please me. He wanted to pursue administration. After he switched, I discovered that he was very good at it. This does not mean that as a mother or parents you should not give career guidance. You need to involve them in career choice rather than impose something on them.

Would you prefer being a full time mother or be the way you are now?

I would rather remain the way I am. The thing is, much as it is difficult to juggle a career and motherhood. It is worth it. When you are working, you grow professionally. You make important contacts or acquaintances. The way you look at the world is different. You are abreast of issues, of course, depending on your profession. It is easy to stay at home when the children are young. But what happens when they grow up and are independent of you. (Chuckles) You basically become redundant and bored. Nevertheless, I pay respect to mothers who have done that. It is a big sacrifice.

You are a pastor. What is the story?

Yes, I am a born again and a part-time ordained pastor for Living Waters Church. I go to Bwaila Living Waters church here in Lilongwe. I was ordained in Chimwankhunda-Blantyre in 2001 by Apostle Dr. Stanley Ndovie. My journey in pastoral service started with my active participation in church activities. I was in Blantyre then and this active participation helped me to be closer to men of God and assisting in administrative activities of the Church, pastoral care etc. I like sharing the gospel with people and in my circle of friends many of them are pastors, elders and fellow believers.

What do you do in your free time?

I like visiting people especially in the village and hospitals. I have the passion to help and comfort those in need. I am happiest when I visit patients in hospitals and comfort them.