My wife is too moody for sex
Dear Biggie,
I am married to an amazing and beautiful woman whom I have two kids with. I love her to bits. But the only problem is that I am struggling to relate with her because she is extremely moody and bitter.
BMW, my wife is like a chameleon. It is so difficult to know if she is happy or not, if she wants sex or not. You can’t tell if she wants to eat or not or if what you have bought her is what she likes or not. She is hell to live with!
What is killing me is that every time I commit a marital crime such as taking a call from another woman, save a woman’s number in my phone, come home late or merely do something wrong, she does not talk to me about it for days. She waits until the faults are too many and she brings them all to my attention. Then we argue the whole night!
When it comes to love-making, our sex life is as good as dead. My wife does not even give it to me for months on end. I have to beg for sex every time I need some. She does not want to be kissed. If we kiss, she just does it monyanyala. BMW does this woman want marriage or I am wasting my time?
Please help!
TK, Mangochi via WhatsApp
TK,
I can’t help but sympathise with you. You are in a problematic marriage.
But then, if I may ask, when did you discover her moody swings? Why did you tolerate her temperance in the first place?
This is why I have always said dating before you put a ring to that fourth left finger, which the Romans believed had the vena amoris—the love blood vein that ran straight to the heart, is most important. You have to know your partner before making the commitment to be husband and wife.
Even in a mere relationship, it is easy to detect moody people. From the way they talk to you on the phone; how they respond to your WhatsApp messages and how they smile at you when you meet to how they react when you tell them you can’t buy them a new watch yet. The characters of a moody person were there before you even said I do to her.
I sympathise with you TK. I surely do. I feel for guys like you who
are married to women who sleep in a pair of jeans that is zipped up as if there is no tomorrow. My heart goes out to men like you whose wives can stand on the anti-hill and scream: “I could have managed chastity to my death!”
It is a given fact that some men do suffer in silence when their women deny them their conjugal rights, which is why I appreciate that TK has come out.
Men have been in the closet far too long and it is high time they learned that speaking out is not a sign of weakness.
I suggest, you and I keep in touch so that someday we can put up a voice versus violence against men. We must fight for equity, not equality. And, by the way, while we are fighting for gender equality, who is preparing men to withstand the heat when they will realise that, after all, there is no such thing as the weaker sex?
Excuse me TK for going all the way, but my heart bleeds for you. That is all I can do for you. Should I tell you what I could have told you in my heydays? Vanish for a couple of days and come home after her relatives call you to ask of your whereabouts. Then, and only then, will you know how much she values you!
