Big Man Wamkulu,
I have just recently come across your column. I have been a nun for the last 22 years.
My parents forced me to join the convent after my high school. I have lived a lie. I’ve slept with different Fathers and have had three abortions. I want out, my life is hollow.
I want to get out, relocate, start life all over again and probably get a family but where do I even start? I ask you to pray for me, your God might hear me. Thanks. No names, please.
Hello Sister No Name,
I am really struggling to make heads and tail of your story.
Your parents forced you into a convent at 22? And you slept with the Fathers (Is this why they are called Fathers?) And you had three abortions? Wow! You’ve lived life my sister (the pun is entirely intended).
But let us break it down before we start judging you.
At 22, one is old enough to make life decisions and I don’t think there’s a parent that can force a child that old to pursue a career that is not of their choice.
Unless, of course, you had not made your life choices by that age and you were home sitting phwiii waiting for goodness knows who or what.
In which case, that says a lot about you and your present scenario.
I cannot deduce your current age from your letter, so I cannot tell as to what period the abortions are spread over.
But I guess everyone can agree that you’ve had the time of your life. Three abortions? But then you are Catholic and condoms are not really your cup of tea. But the abortions are not a lesser sin.
But that debate shall be shelved for another day.
We could fault the Fathers for abusing you. That would be the easy option. And Big Man does not do easy.
So the buck stops with you.
It is easy to say that you want out. Eventually, all of us get to a point in life where we want out.
But life is structured in a way that we go experience ups and downs.
That is what defines life. And to say that you’ve lived a lie is, in itself, a lie.
You’ve had loads of a sex and enjoyed it. What is a lie about that? It’s just sex.
But let’s not be too hard on you. You seem to have decided on a course of action. And I’m debating on the reason you’ve written this letter?
To raise awareness about the sexual activities between nuns and priests? But we all know that.
Or to raise awareness that some more Sisters have abortions periodically from the liaisons with the Fathers? But that is pretty obvious, as the point above is common knowledge.
So, what exactly do you want? Because if you decided to walk out of the convent and start a life afresh, who would stop you?
I wish I could pray for you. I really do. But I haven’t been to church in ages and I don’t think God would hear my pleas on your behalf.
So, I think you’re better placed to do the confessions for yourself. And pray for me too. Mea culpa mea culpa.