Politically exposed persons are living dangerously

You have yourself to blame for not having read these stories about zungulirakhonde and its effects on their hubbies.

In the end, you find the man, typically, not wanting to go anywhere but next to you.

My dear, I repeat, you have yourself to blame. And don’t go about seeking Mayi Limaya. You won’t find her because she sees all your moves in a clay pot in her hut.

That woman is not to blame. Did you adhere to the dosage she gave you? Chances are high that you gave your hubby an overdose to the extent that he loves you more than the sex you can give him.

Get a pillow, weep your tears until its ducts run dry like the Sahara.

You see, the problem with you is that you listen to bad advice.

I have seen better days and I will bet my last Premier Bet ticket that that friend of yours who referred you to Mayi Limaya is single, she has never been married. If she is married, has she ever administered this juju on her husband?

Be careful what advice you get.

Otherwise, let me dance my Jerusalema in peace as I think where I should go. Get well soon and remember kulibe manda a mbeta.

Dear judge Mbadwa,

My lord, what an eventful year 2021 has been! As I wish you a very prosperous 2022, I want to acknowledge the work your tribunal has done in trying to make Nyasaland a better place to live.

I know that courtesy of Marita Chimbeko, the other person who brought smiles on otherwise gloomy faces of Nyasaland citizens in the year gone by, some politically exposed persons have entered the year with raised blood sugar and hypertension, forcing themselves into a self-induced isolation for obvious reasons.

Suddenly, being a politically exposed person is not something that can cause people to carry themselves with superior airs.

My lord, if we are to take Marita’s statement of intent as demonstrated in the way she is handling investigations in the late Northern Rhodesia President Michael Sata’s estate, politically exposed persons have become an endangered species.

I know some have even failed to honour an invitation to dance to the tunes of Ndombolo at Iron Hill’s estate in the border district of Fort Manning.

My lord, who would be in the dancing mood when a noose is somehow being tightened on you?

I had to read twice the statement from Marita, my lord, which said “investigations surrounding the late Michael Sata and politically exposed persons are ongoing and we promise to keep the public informed of any updates on the investigations”.

This promises to be a marathon of investigations and revelations and we will soon know how power brings down people.

The soft underbelly of the Tokha Alliance might have been exposed already, but I am not naive to understand that a politically exposed person could belong to both sides of the political divide and could, in some instances, not necessarily be a politician.

My lord, as we are in 2022, those who want to understand a true definition of clearing the rubble should just take a look at the work that Turbocharged Nkhakamira Nyarenda and Marita are doing.

If you had given me an opportunity to name the personalities of the year, the two would be my candidates.

My lord, I expect your tribunal to usher in another season of fair trials that will rein in on politicians, public officials and service providers who will grossly violate the rights of the citizens.

My lord, we hope 2022 will be a year where the citizens will enjoy their full rights as bestowed onto them by the Constitution and various charters.

Happy New Year to you judge Mbadwa and esteemed court users.

Regards,

John Citizen.