In-law problems often arise from money issues. But then again, they can crop up from any number of other sources. It is actually rare to have a marriage in which there is no conflict with either the husband’s or the wife’s parents.
However, most in-law problems can be relieved through common sense and an effort on the part of each person to understand the other.
Young married couples should realise that their parents are the product of their own environment and that they too have emotional problems of their own. A young husband is not responsible for what his mother says or does. A young wife should be able to listen to her mother in law politely and then decide quietly for herself whether she wants to follow the advice.
There is nothing to be gained by getting angry at an in-law or fighting with your partner over what his parents, relatives have said or done. A child has no control over his parents and as a grown up man, he should not be blamed for what they may say to his wife. Unfortunately, most women compete with their mother in-law for their husband’s attention.
When I am called to advise young wives about mother in-laws, I say, “Your husband left his mother and married you. He loves you but he also loves his mother differently. When you disagree with his mother, you are making your husband look like a puppet on a string. He wants to be loyal to you and his mother, but he is being torn apart by the two women he loves. You and your husband are the true new family unit. Your parents had something to do with making you the two nice people that you are. You have each other. You can surely afford to be gracious to your parents. Please stop the competition and relax! Your husband loves you. Go ahead and make peace with your mother in-law.â€Â
