Resolving parental objection to the boy or girlfriend (1)

What can be done to resolve a situation where the parents do not approve of the boy or girl their child is dating? First of all, the child should give the parents the benefit of the doubt. They may be genuinely concerned about their youngster and they certainly want to protect him/her from being hurt. Instead of blindly resenting the parent’s interference, the youngster should try to appreciate their concern. Their maturity and intelligent handling can be a help in a situation where a boy or girl is trying to decide how much a relationship really means. The young person needs someone to talk to about it. His or her parents would be so proud if they are the ones chosen.

These suggestions are based on extensive counselling experience. Most young people, I have discovered, become too emotionally involved during the dating period. For a number of reasons, they stay with one person. The two young people become accustomed to each other, drift into courtship and subsequently marry. For that reason, it is desirable that young people should date individuals of the same religious background as themselves, close in age and of the same cultural background, because dating as it is practised today is a preliminary step to courtship and marriage.

Some youngsters marry in haste just to escape one of the many problems facing teenagers. A boy may not be doing very well in school. A girl from a large family may fight with her brothers and sisters all the time. The youngster may lack financial support from parents; and it seems like a good idea to get married and get away from all these problems. However, these young people are merely exchanging one set of problems for another.