With time, people in relationships discover that passion for each other dwindles. Sometimes couples are driven apart by the very things that once attracted them to each other.
Things such as beauty, fades, sex becomes less exciting and arguments become the order of the day. People resort to spending less time with their spouses and more time with friends or jump into a new relationship all together.
This may result in breakups, separations or divorce. Catherine Thangalimodzi, a marriage counsellor advises couples to constantly work on their relationships to keep the fire burning.
“Love needs to be cultivated, by among others, reaffirmation, reminders of love and exchanging gifts. Same routine for years becomes boring. So, those in relationships must be creative and adventurous enough to bring new things.
“Couples must also know that arguments are inevitable and instead of avoiding conflicts, they must face their problems. Forgiveness is an important recipe in staying longer together,” she said.
Thangalimodzi, however, discouraged couples from watching pornographic material as remedy for revamping boring sex.
“Contrary to popular beliefs, pornography is destructive and should never be used in any healthy relationship. There’s a lot of helpful literature, even in the Bible. Things change from, among others, hormonal changes, especially for women at menopause and parenthood,” she said.
Thangalimodzi further observed that there was nothing like irreconcilable differences when there are two willing hearts to sort out problems.
Psychologist Chioza Bandawe attributed common purpose as one of the key things that bind lovers together.
“People in a relationship must clearly state their expectations and be aware of their lovers’ expectations. Coupled with ongoing communication, they must point out problems and sort them out before things get out of hand.
“From time to time, couples must evaluate where things are and the direction they are taking. This is another way of ensuring they are on the same page and working together towards achieving common goals,” Bandawe said
He advised couples to look beyond themselves and reach out to others, saying this is another was of strengthening a relationship.
“Every time lovers cross each other’s paths, they must resolve the issue by focussing on the issue at hand. The mistake we make is to capitalise on an emerging issue to revive past mistakes which is entirely wrong. An issue must be thoroughly discussed and be put to rest,” said Bandawe. n