Separation and divorce (3)

This week, we continue looking at some of the reasons why a lot of marriages in the present day are ending in separation or divorce.

1. The roles of husband and wife in marriage are not properly defined. The husband is unable to love his wife unconditionally nor is the wife able to submit to her husband.

2. Marriage is built on a foundation of lies. There is no honesty or transparency during courtship. People are not able to express themselves freely and truthfully to their partners. As a result, it becomes difficult to attain oneness. Shocks destroy marriages.

3.  New couples do not have model families to guide and direct them. The new couple has nowhere to turn to when confronted with marital problems. Nkhoswes are interested parties and are therefore biased.

4.   There is no forgiveness, tolerance, perseverance, patience, acceptance and humility in marriage from both husband and wife.

5.  Last but not least, a spirit of competition has arisen within the family. When one misbehaves, the other chooses to do likewise. When one attains a master’s degree, the other strives hard to do likewise. In the end both of them remain in different countries pursuing studies for years on end.

In most cases, separation granted by the church; for instance where life is being threatened, the estranged husband and wife are never visited for further counselling and encouragement. They are never monitored on whether their spiritual lives are being affected and are not encouraged to come back together soon after comprehensive counselling and prayers.